Birthday Blessing

Finding the perfect birthday gift for my mother can be tricky -- not because she is picky, but because she is content. However, this year I have to say that I succeeded! How lucky that her birthday coincided (okay, it was five days early) with the Legacy of Hope luncheon featuring author Francine Rivers. Also, how lucky that I just happened to be off of work today so I could accompany her to the luncheon!


Francine Rivers is the author of the beloved book Redeeming Love, among many other works, and my mom has read them all. We were delighted to stay afterward to meet Mrs. Rivers and have her sign two books for mom. She was also kind enough to pose for the above picture.

Happy birthday, Mom! I'm glad I was able to share this birthday "treat" with you...it was a gift to me too.

(Another) Brand New Day

Okay, we're not to this point yet, but give me another week or two! For the first time in nine years I've returned to full-time work. No, it's not 9 to 5...more like 8 to 3. Not quite as catchy a tune.

I am glad to be working again this year at CAK elementary school, where Reed is in third grade. Last year I enjoyed a part-time position in the office; this year I am working as a teacher's aide Monday through Friday.

Wow, when I last worked full time we only had one child, and he was still in diapers. We didn't have homework to do, piano to practice, a puppy to play with, or school uniforms to wash. I came home, and Seth and I headed to the park to swing.

It has been a tremendous blessing to be home with Seth and Reed these past nine years. Honestly, it wasn't an easy transition for me - from working mom to stay-at-home mom - but I came to cherish the freedom of being with my boys all day every day.

Now I find myself making another difficult transition. That's part of the journey, though - isn't it? Maneuvering the bends in the road. In this case, dust bunnies, soiled laundry, and dirty dishes are piled in these bends.

So, if you see Seth and Reed with stains on their school uniforms, please give me some grace (and keep your camera handy because Lego clothes might be next!).

Brand New Day

Well, I'll choose to look at the positive (it's a brand new school year full of adventures, fun, and growth for Seth and Reed) rather than the negative (it's the end of summer and I really didn't want to say goodbye to my boys this morning...waaaahhhh...).

This morning was indeed the beginning of their new school year, with Reed starting 3rd grade and Seth starting 6th. Yes, that's right - Seth is now a middle schooler! Below are a few traditional "first day" pictures (plus a new tradition...a pic with our puppy). Enjoy!

Sunshine in Santa Rosa

Our 12th annual beach trip with my family took us to Santa Rosa, Florida. We stayed in "Serendipity," a beautiful house with plenty of room for the eight of us and our two dogs. Beaching it with Bella and Titan was different but a lot of fun.

Each morning Titan woke around 6 a.m., so Tim and I got an early start walking him. Then, we'd enjoy time on the beach or in the pool at our house. Having a pool in our backyard was really a treat! Below are some pictures taken around the house...


One afternoon we went to Shell Island, where we enjoyed playing in the clear Gulf waters. Don't be fooled by the sweet pictures below...the boys were responding to my instruction, "Act like you love each other." (I think you can tell from Seth's kiss, however, that they really do!)

Here the boys are on their way to the beach. There was an awesome area where a creek fed into the ocean. The boys enjoyed building dams to divert the water--even BaBa joined their efforts.

Probably the highlight of the trip was having our personal swimming pool. It was wonderful having it right in our backyard!

After five years at the South Carolina shores, it was fun to visit a new area and return to the beautiful waters of the Gulf Coast, where our beach tradition began.

Rooted in Fear

Yesterday during a conversation a friend told me he is afraid to fly in an airplane, and he will never fly. He recalled a story from his only experience when the flight got off to a delayed and then bumpy start. His utter fear of flying began at that moment...and he was four.

He's now a 28-year-old man who has never stepped foot back onto an airplane. Now, I know a lot of people have a very real fear of flying. I confess that each time I fly I feel a surge of adrenaline as the engines prepare for take-off. And I feel a sense of panic if I sit too far back in the cabin or we idle on the runway too long (especially after landing).

What struck me, though, is how this young man is letting his fear deprive him of some really wonderful things in life. He has a job that would allow him to travel fairly extensively and visit many amazing places, but he won't go. He has started dating a lovely woman, but he admits the relationship probably won't last because of his determination not to travel.

It's not that he doesn't want to go to these places and experience these things. He wants to go; he is just gripped by fear.

As I have journeyed into my own story these past few years, I have realized how deep and far our fears can reach. How the crippling began sometimes when were too small or young to even remember when it took root. And how difficult it is for us to remove it from the soil of our life.

In my own weeding, I've realized that when I'm living in fear I'm missing out: on joy, on experiences, on relationship. Scripture tells me that it is a God-less place: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). The enemy of my heart would have me live ensnared in fear the rest of my days. Jesus warns, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

Where fear is ruling, God is not allow to rule. When fear is ruling, life is not abundant. Thus, my journey began and so it continues... because I want God and this life He offers. Abundant life, not gripped by fear but graced by love.

I write all of this as prologue. To lead you here, to this beautiful post written by singer/writer Andrew Peterson. Please click here and continue reading: The Rabbit Room#more-5656 Peterson titles his post "Fearless Faith"...Yes, please.

Tanking

Tanking: to purposely lose a match, because of poor mental game or other reason...

Delete the word "purposely" and there you have it: my last tennis clinic. I tanked.

I didn't just play poorly during the 1-1/2 hour lesson; I collapsed. I couldn't move my feet, couldn't make contact with most balls, and couldn't look my instructor in the eye. I had one goal and one goal only: to make it through the clinic and to my car before I started crying.

It started so normally. This was my third clinic (meaning I was playing with several other ladies and my coach), so I didn't feel particularly nervous. It had been a good morning. And I was actually looking forward to playing after a couple of weeks off.

However, within the first few volleys I realized that things were not going well. The lobs my coach hit my way seemed to be in fast forward, and my feet were moving in slow-mo. My timing was off. And it spiraled down from there.

Now, every time I go to my tennis lesson or a clinic Tim encourages me, "Just have fun." Sounds simple enough, but for me...ugh. Not so simple. As my thoughts descended from frustration to failure, I watched the other ladies laughing at their gaffes and heaped more contempt upon my already slumping shoulders.

I wish I could just have fun with it. I wish I could silence the criticism. I wish I could see it for the tiny thing it is...but the fact is it doesn't feel so tiny. It feels huge and hard and true.

When I decided to take tennis lessons, I honestly knew this would be a part of the process. I was stepping into a fearful place and knew the journey wouldn't be one only of sunshine and success. However, the first few months have been utterly encouraging and hugely redemptive. So, when I found myself standing on the courts in the middle of this thunderstorm, I felt ambushed.

I dreaded my next lesson, facing my coach, and talking about the clinic. However, I scheduled it right away (gotta get back on the bicycle, and all of that...). When I arrived at the courts, I discovered that God had already arrived before me. The outdoor courts were full, so my coach and I found a quiet sanctuary in the empty indoor courts where we could enter into a spacious time of talking and teaching.

My coach is a young man who doesn't understand the weightiness of what's happening with me on the courts. And that is okay. It's surprising to me how God can use even those who are unaware of His purposes to accomplish them. But He can, and He is.

In The Healing Path, Dan Allender writes:

Disruption of shalom (peace) is the soil God uses to grow us to become the people we are meant to be...We will not move to become like him and know the sweet joy he desires for us if we are comfortable where we are. When our peace is shattered, the resulting doubt and confusion send us on a deeply personal search that can transform us and lead us to abundant joy...When the disruption compels us to search, we eventually find ourselves in a corner where are forced to turn and stand face to face with God. When will we encounter God? We can't predict. How will it change us when we do? We can't explain. But we remember moments when the search led us not to find, but to be found. We all know odd moments of epiphany that shake us to our bones with his presence and his words for us. And those moments lead us not only to trust him (a little bit more), but they serve as the foundation for our growing sense of who we are and who we are meant to become.

Allender's words resonate with me, and though I think of my next clinic with apprehension, I also feel expectant. I began tennis with the knowledge that I was entering into something much larger in my story. I was inviting this disruption for the sake of transformation. So I must choose, whether my next lesson ends in triumph or tears, to stay on the courts and keep swinging.

Big Four Oh

Apparently turning 40 is no big deal to a man, or at least my man, because there's been no mention of it by him in the days leading up to it. Me? I think I began pondering this milestone the day I turned 39.

It's true. Tim lives very much in the present and enjoys each day as it comes. I appreciate that about him and know it is just one way we compliment each other.

Blessings to you on this day, YOUR day, and thank you for each of the 14,600 days that you've brought your own unique goodness, kindness, and joy to this world. Happy birthday Tim!