Choices

I've been thinking a lot this week about choices and what they can tell us about the state of our heart. It seems to be true, no matter how big or small the choice. My choices can reveal where I am abiding (in Christ or elsewhere); how Satan is attacking me; and how aware I am of the larger story I am a part of (the story where God [not me] is THE central character).

An example: food. Many of you know my weight has been an issue for the past several years. When losing weight back in 2006, I realized how I was turning to food for more than a physical hunger -- I know I am not alone in this tendency to fill a void through the immediate gratification of a milkshake, chocolate bar, cheetos, or all of the above. I was turning to food rather than turning to God. Food had become one of my "abiding places."

Food was also one way the enemy took me out. I was so focused on my weight, my changing body, my lack of energy, and everything else that came along with my struggle, that I failed to wholly offer myself to others. And when we are hiding, we aren't fulfilling our calling: to reveal the glory of God.

My weight also became my main preoccupation and distraction, and often it was the story in which I was living as the central character. And ohhhh, there is so much more. There was (and is) a larger story unfolding all around me that I was invited to participate in, but I failed to step into my glorious role.

So, the choice. What to eat for lunch today? The combo with waffle fries and a cookies 'n cream milkshake or the grilled chicken wrap with Diet Coke? I know it seems small...really inconsequential...but I know it's actually not. I know each time I choose wisely, I am caring for my body, disarming the enemy, and staying focused on the bigger picture of my LIFE with God.

Of course, some choices seem weightier than others: where to live, work, go to school, etc. And some choices seem easier: what to wear today, what to do this weekend, etc. But they all require something of me -- I have to decide if I will impulsively follow my own desires, or if I will consider what my choice reveals about the condition of my heart.

I believe our choices should bring us freedom to walk with God and teach us how to do this more wholly, more intimately, and more fearlessly. Oh, and by the way, I had the wrap and Diet Coke. In one way, I'm still hungry, but in another way (the way that truly matters) I am filled.