Tucker Tracks

Hippy Halloween

2011-10-31T08:59:00.004-04:00

In Daddy's Shoes (or Cleats)

2011-08-29T15:58:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure who was more excited to visit Dick's Sporting Goods to purchase cleats, shin guards, socks, shorts, and a soccer ball: the tall blonde or the small one. Reed has just started his first season of soccer, and both he and Tim are giddy with the excitement. I'm pretty happy to finally earn the title "soccer mom" and watch Reed enter this new sport with such enthusiasm.

First Day Fun

2011-08-25T22:43:00.003-04:00

When the late nights and leisurely days come to an end, it's a huge blessing when your boys can approach a new school year with grins like these. Here are the boys on the first day of the 2011-2012 year.

Here's one proud papa with his fourth grader and seventh grader. All smiles (though Tim looks like he's sharing a bit of my back-to-school emotion)!

Bookworms

2011-08-21T17:43:00.001-04:00

To say I love books just doesn't seem to express my sentiment completely. To say I love story is perhaps a more apt description. So, I find myself immersed the pages of a book (or two or three) at most times. I'm thankful that I have a husband who also shares this interest (so he doesn't begrudge my book-buying habit).

Since our nightstands, bookshelves, and most every level surface in our home holds stacks of books that are in process, I thought it would be fun to track what we read in this new year. I'll only list a book once we've finished it cover-to-cover. Hopefully this list will inspire you to read one of these titles (or to finish that book resting on your nightstand).

Julia Child by Laura Shapiro
The Guinea Pig Diaries by A.J. Jacobs
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Fiddler's Gun by A.S. Peterson
The Fiddler's Green by A.S. Peterson (Oh my, so good! Please go to http://www.rabbitroom.com/ to order The Fiddler's Gun and this incredible continuation of Fin Button's adventures!)
Turn My Mourning Into Dancing by Henri Nouwen
Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge
Looking for Alaska by John Green (Yes, John Green of Nerdfighters fame. If you're not familiar with Nerdfighters, watch this clip. Hope you enjoy a nice laugh!)
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (How am I just reading this classic? After all, it was voted the best novel of the 20th century - and I seem to remember taking a course in college titled "20th Century Novels." How was this omitted from the syllabus?!)
Sticky Teams by Larry Osborne
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst
Radical by David Platt
Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
Sabbath by Dan Allender
Operating Instructions by Anne LaMott
The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen
SoulTalk by Larry Crabb
Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge
How To Be Good by Nick Hornsby
Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Great in Grayton

2011-08-08T21:48:00.001-04:00

Our summer-time tradition continued this August with the 12th annual Dunham-Tucker-Nelson Beach Trip. Our Grayton Beach house and its accompanying golf cart gets Reed's seal (or grin) of approval.

Once we hit the beach, the boys begin to dig. This year the big boys got in on the fun, digging deep enough to bury both boys neck deep in sand.

On Tuesday afternoon we rented a kayak to venture out into the surf. Here Tim and the boys prepare to paddle. A little later Tim and Barry paddled out far enough to approach a passing-by pod of dolphins.

We were fortunate to enjoy sunny weather nearly every day. Beach service (with a nice big umbrella to provide plenty of shade) made a day at the beach a...well, a day at the beach.

Unfortunately Tim had to leave mid-week to return home to work. We neglected to get our annual family shot while he was still around, so here's our 2011 family photo, minus one.

After ice cream at a nearby creamery (yum, the lemon frozen yogurt), we made an evening visit to the shore for Reed to enjoy some final digging. We enjoyed a stunning sunset on our final evening at the beach.

Oh-So-Hot Holiday

2011-07-04T13:50:00.008-04:00

Twice a summer we head to the woods for some hot, sticky tent-camping fun. This Fourth of July weekend we outdid ourselves! Instead of our usual destination at Elkmont (which was full because we waited too late to book), we went to the Bandy Creek Campground at Big South Fork.

Tim has hiked and camped here with buddies several times, but this was the first time our family camped here. While he was right that it was a beautiful spot (and had the luxury of showers!), it was HOT, and I mean H-O-T! And with the heat came the bugs. So, we were either enclosed in a screened environment or cooling off in the overcrowded campground pool (a scene that brought to mind the Griswald family and their "Vacation" foibles).

The two highlights of the weekend were having Grandmama along (she was a great sport in the heat!) and hiking to the Twin Arches. Below are photos from this stunning hike:

Below the boys stand under one of the huge stone arches:

You want me to go in WHERE? Tim and the boys had already entered this cave, so what choice did I have? Out of sight is not out of mind, so I braved the dark and found myself in a large cavern.

From inside the cave, I could see Seth and Reed already back outside. I decided to return the way I came rather than squeeze through this tight spot.

Unfortunately the following picture is a "before," not an "after," and we still had all of those stairs to climb to finish our journey. One foot in front of the other...

One Message

2011-06-20T09:33:00.008-04:00

We are part of an awesome church...a church where the Word is central, is taught and studied, and defines who we are and what we are about. For the past several years Tim has been an elder at Providence Church.

This summer our pastor will be taking a well-deserved sabbatical, and during his absence our elders will be stepping into the teaching role that Chad usually occupies. For my stage-shy husband, this opportunity is unnerving -- to say the least. However, it is also a rare and exciting opportunity to share one message from his heart with the body of our church.

Here's a video sharing about our elders and explaining "One Message." (Click here.) Join us at Providence starting on June 26 for this special series!

Father's Day Fun

2011-06-19T13:13:00.002-04:00

Why is it when folks find out that I willingly participate in tent camping they are surprised? Oh, all right, I can think of lots of reasons. But when God gifted me with a husband who likes to camp and two sons, I knew I had two choices: make the best of it or be left behind. And even though it can be hot and buggy and is guaranteed to be dirty and stinky, there are rewards to camping. Nature, family time, and...one of my personal favorites - S'mores (and lots of them!).

On Father's Day weekend the past two years, we have camped in Cades Cove. Part of our weekend includes rising early on Saturday morning to bike the loop before cars enter the park.

Lest you think it's an easy task to bike the 11-mile loop, here's a picture of the boys taking a mid-loop break - Reed boosting with a protein bar and Seth giving himself some positive "self talk" (I think I can, I think I can...).

What's the best treat after biking the loop? Well, the boys and I would agree about the soft serve ice cream sold at the Cades Cove visitors center. Tim might argue that a nap in his hammock is the ultimate reward. Oh well, it's Father's Day...he deserves it!

The downpour came on Saturday afternoon, thankfully after we finished biking. It didn't damper our spirits though. We drove the loop during the worst part of the storm, and then did some wet exploring around the campground.

It's good to see the boys still enjoying the outdoor adventure despite an afternoon of rain. When the thunder clapped early on Sunday morning, however, we gave in, packed up, and headed on home.

Rocky Mountain High

2011-05-28T21:49:00.009-04:00

On our sixth day in Colorado, we woke to brilliant skies and snowy peaks. We left the hot springs and Buena Vista to begin the journey to our final destination for the week: Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park. Here our family stands with stunning Mt. Princeton in the background:

We arrived in Estes Park in the afternoon and checked into our lodging at the YMCA of the Rockies, a vast family resort with sprawling grounds and numerous cabins and lodges. We set out to explore Estes Park with one goal: souvenier shopping! The boys had money burning holes in their wallets. Thankfully we found a couple of excellent rock shops, so they avoided t-shirts and baseball caps for something more meaningful and lasting. We couldn't get over the elk that were roaming freely in the town. Here a herd of elk graze outside a barbecue restaurant:

On Saturday morning we began our full day in Rocky Mountain National Park. It was a cool, clear morning, and after a stop at the Visitor's Center we began our time with a hike around a picture-perfect mountain lake.

We ventured off the path to a trail leading to some campsites. The boys were happy to discover these snow drifts in the woods. It's difficult to tell from the perspective of the photograph, but the snow was nearly as deep as Reed stands. Even though they weren't dressed for it, the boys couldn't resist climbing the snow and running and sliding down it.

In the afternoon we returned to the YMCA to enjoy one of their many activities - archery! This is an awesome family resort with classes, hikes, and activities planned for children of all ages. The boys spent an hour and a half in the beginning archery class.

Later in the day, we returned to the park. We drove on Trail Ridge Road as far as it was cleared from snow (11 miles in). While they aim to have the road open by Memorial Day each year, it was clear why they won't reach that goal this year. The snow stood many feet higher than Tim!

We then drove down the mountain, out of the cloud bank, to the Alluvial Fan. This waterfall and the debris surrounding it was created by a 1982 dam break and flood. It was a wonderful place to climb and play; however, an afternoon rain shower cut our time short and drove us back to our Jeep.

After a very full day in Rocky Mountain National Park, we returned to our room at the YMCA to try to repack eight days of adventure into three suitcase. Morning will come too soon, and we will leave these mountains with sleep still in our eyes. We're ready to return home with a profound sense of gratitude for our week and a full heart from feasting on this beautiful place.

Paddle, Saddle, and Soak

2011-05-26T09:07:00.001-04:00

When I say that this Colorado trip was a "dream come true," I am not being cliche. It's true. Tim and I shared a deep mutual desire to experience this place together and with our boys. You see, we've been ten times separately, but never together. And our boys have heard tales of our Colorado trips so often that they're a kind of family legend. So, what a thrill on Wednesday to make our way to YoungLife's Frontier Ranch, where Tim and I have attended seven Ransomed Heart retreats.

Summer camps had not begun, so we were able to meander around the ranch on our own. It was fun to show the boys where we stay, eat, worship, and also tell tales of some of our adventures.

After leaving Frontier Ranch, we drove into the mountains to the ghost town of St. Elmo, population 3. This town once boasted a population of 3,000, but now the owners of the bed and breakfast and the general store are its only year-round residents.

On Wednesday afternoon we checked into the Mt. Princeton Hot Springs Resort, just down the road from Frontier Ranch. We quickly moved into our beautiful cliff-side room, donned our bathing suits, and headed for the natural hot springs. Built into the side of hill bordering a mountain stream, these pools are fed with hot, HOT mineral water. The snow-melt feeds the stream, so this cold water mixes with the mineral water to make the steaming pools bearable (it is that hot!). Ahhh, what a way to end our day!

Thursday began bright and early as we reported to Noah's Ark Whitewater Rafting. This 10-mile rafting excursion was the boys' first ever, so we had some adrenaline pumping. The boys were great, though, managing the Class 3 rapids we encountered on this sometimes wet, chilly ride. Seth helped me paddle in the front of the raft, while Tim and our guide manuevered the middle and back. Reed sat shivering in between Seth and me up front.

After our four hour float down the Arkansas River, we headed over to Mt. Princeton Stables for a two hour horseback ride. This inexperienced group of riders (Reed's first; Seth's second; and my first in 25 years!) saddled up on our assigned horses: Reed on Jazz, Seth on Buttercup, Tim on Dawn, and me on Tequila. Yes, that's right: TEQUILA.

I'd like to say our ride started as peacefully as the above photograph indicates, but that would be a lie. Before the stables were out of sight, Tequila had already picked a fight with a horse in the corral and bucked into the air (kudos for me hanging on!). Soon into our ride, it was clear that Tequila intended to ride with his nose pressed into Buttercup's backside. This resulted in occasional kicks from Buttercup and frequent concerned glances from Seth.

In the end, the boys managed their horses beautifully, I kept Tequila from lurching off the side of the mountain, and Tim learned to keep his equestrian suggestions to himself (poor guy).

After our two-hour ride, this cowgirl was happy to return to the hot springs for a long soak in the steaming mineral waters. Just what her sore saddlebag needed and the perfect ending to an adventure-filled day in Buena Vista.

Less Is More

2011-05-24T10:50:00.001-04:00

We learned an important lesson on our first full day in Colorado: oftentimes less is more. Let me explain...we woke to a beautiful morning and were still grappling with how to spend our next few hours. We had rock climbing scheduled with a local friend at 2 p.m., so we had six hours. Since this was Tim and the boys' first visit to Colorado Springs, we felt compelled to visit the iconic Pikes Peak. I don't think any of us really cared about going (given our indecision about whether to drive to the top or ride the Cog Railroad), but we were in Colorado Springs, so it felt like a must.

We rushed to the railroad and barely made the train before departure, even bantering back and forth as we bought the tickets whether this was something we really wanted to do. We got aboard, though, and within minutes of the climb, I think Tim and I both realized we had made a mistake. Seth looked utterly bored, and Reed looked sleepy. Once you're on your way to the top, however, you're committed.

We reached Pikes Peak to discover the incredible views but also to find that the altitude did not agree with the boys. We found a table inside the snack bar/souvenir shop where they could rest while Tim trudge through snow and ice to enjoy the sight. As our twenty minute stop ticked by every so slowly, the boys felt increasingly worse and...let's just say, Seth's souvenir t-shirt would read, "I puked on Pikes Peak."

Poor guy. We returned to the train to wait it out, and once we began our descent, both boys fell asleep in our laps and earned the compassionate looks of our fellow passengers.

Thankfully we walked away from Pikes Peak with a valuable takeaway for the rest of our vacation (and for vacations to come): Less Is More. Sure, we came to Colorado to explore and adventure together. But we also came in need of rest, restoration, peace, and quiet. We needed to allow room for "Ahhhh..." in all of the adventure. So, we loosened the reins for the rest of the week. We moved out of desire instead of duty and curiosity rather than compulsion. I believe this change made all of the difference in the week that we enjoyed.

While we still saw a lot and did a lot on our trip, something in our spirits settled and we experienced the trip as a gift rather than something of our own making. And what an extraordinary gift it was!

On Monday afternoon the boys had fully recovered from their Pikes Peak trauma and were ready to climb some lesser heights. Our friend Alex took us to CityRock, an indoor climbing center in Colorado Springs, where we each scaled some of the highest indoor climbing walls in the state. Here you can see Tim belay Seth (orange shirt on the wall) while Reed (green shirt) watches.

On Tuesday we spent our morning at the Garden of the Gods. These stunning rock formations are situated in a rich landscape that are a feast for the eyes. We meandered along the pathways, explored the rocks, and enjoyed the coolness of the mountain air on an overcast day. After we left Garden of the Gods, we drove south out of Colorado Springs headed to the Great Sand Dunes National Park.

We reached the dunes that afternoon and were awestruck by their beauty nestled in front of the stunning Sangre de Christo mountain range. This 30-square-mile stretch of sand boasts the largest dunes in North America. Once you park your vehicle, you set off across a stretch of sand and keep walking. Of course, there are no trails, so in the distance you can see tiny specks on the dunes...hikers further on their journey.

Reed and I quickly shed our shoes to help us trudge through the sand, and the boys were the first to resort to their hands and knees climbing higher and higher on the dunes. We never made it to the top of the highest (it's about a 2-3 hour climb), but we made it high enough for the boys to run, roll, slip, and slide. It's safe to say we had sand in every pocket, fold, crack, and crevice, but it was a great time.

Tuesday night we ended our day in the small town of Alamosa, where the boys enjoyed an indoor pool at our hotel. I'm sure they left more than their share of sand behind! By the time we tucked in that night, any thoughts of Pikes Peak felt like a distant memory.

Colorado-Bound

2011-05-22T17:49:00.000-04:00

After a long spell of dreaming and many months of planning, we are Colorado-bound! Tim flew out five days prior to enjoy some time with a few buddies in the Rockies and attend the U2 concert in Denver. The boys and I flew from Nashville on Sunday, May 22. This was the boys' first-ever flight, and they had the expected butterflies in their bellies.

Thankfully we had a smooth flight and arrived in Denver before we knew it! Tim was waiting for us with our rental car...or I should say Jeep. This is what happens when you send a guy to choose the rental car! Not exactly what I would have chosen, but Tim hit a home run with the boys. In the end, it was perfect for our adventuring through Colorado.

We immediately left Denver bound for Colorado Springs, where we spent our first two nights at Glen Eyrie. This facility, home of The Navigators ministry, boasts a stunning Castle, breathtaking landscape, and comfortable lodges. It also offers great hiking (we quickly realized we weren't hiking in the Smokies on the rocky terrain).

It was a dream-come-true to be in Colorado together and begin this memorable adventure with our boys.

Hikes #8 & #9

2011-05-20T23:03:00.005-04:00

Our Colorado trip is only days away, so it's time to tally our hikes. No, we didn't accomplish our goal of 12 hikes before leaving, but we did manage to enjoy nine! Tim and the boy completed the final two during a Scout camping trip to Cades Cove. Thank you to Reed's awesome Scout leader for these pictures of my devoted hikers exploring the Smokies:

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T23:17:00.000-04:00

We celebrated this Mother's Day with 76 trombones. My parents treated us with front-row seats to see "The Music Man" at UT's Clarence Brown Theatre. It was a delight to see this show with them and share the experience with the boys. Here are the happy moms with some musical men of our own...

Hike #7 (Dam Day)

2011-04-25T13:47:00.011-04:00

When I heard that Norris Dam was spilling, I knew it was a "must-see" for our boys. Of course, it is also one of those experiences that the parents appreciate much more than the kids. Still, we made the short trip to Norris to see the sight of the dam releasing approx. 7,400 cubic feet per second into the Clinch River. Here is the view from the top of the dam looking down:

Here the guys stand on the opposite side of the dam overlooking beautiful Norris Lake:

From the bottom, you can see where we stood to take the first picture at the top of the dam looking down.

After visiting the dam, we ventured into the state park and discovered a very different dam, a shallow creek we could splash in, and a lovely trail to hike. In the end, Reed's water shoes proved too uncomfortable for hiking, and Dad generously gave him a lift back to the car.

Hike #6 (Birthday Bonus)

2011-04-22T11:23:00.000-04:00

On Good Friday we headed to the Smokies with my parents for a double portion: hike #6 and a birthday picnic for Reed. We outdrove the rain which threatened our plans, and we enjoyed a beautiful day at Metcalf Bottoms.

Reed turns nine on Monday, April 25, so we celebrated in the woods with a picnic, some presents, and even cupcakes!

After our lunch, we made the 1.2-mile trek to the schoolhouse. Even BaBa took the hike with us while MiMi enjoyed some R&R beside the creek.

Hike #5

2011-04-17T10:43:00.002-04:00

Our fifth hike took us back to the UT Artboretum near Oak Ridge. One of the wonderful benefits of taking these twelve hikes is watching Spring unfold. When we first visited the arboretum, the trees were bare. Today they burst with new life...especially the East Tennessee favorite - dogwoods! Hopefully our photographs bless you with a glimpse of Spring you haven't enjoyed this season.

Hike #4

2011-04-16T15:12:00.000-04:00

When the rain came on Friday night, Tim and I were tent camping in Tellico Plains. We woke on Saturday eager to see how the waterfall we'd hiked to on Friday had swelled as a result. Below are pictures of what we found (visit Hike #3 post to recall what it looked like on Friday), as well as some lovely wildflowers we spied on our trek.

Hike #3

2011-04-16T14:50:00.000-04:00

This past weekend the elders of our church, and their wives, enjoyed a retreat in Tellico Plains. The cabin we stayed at is situated on 90-acres of private property adjacent to the Cherokee National Forest, so we had plenty of room to roam. The above photograph shows an overhead look at the path of our hike. We journeyed along the creek route into the woods. The fourteen of us crossed this lovely pasture to enter the woods. From there, we followed the trail to a waterfall. It was a lovely hike, and we stopped at the falls for some picture taking. The next part of the hike was much more challenging...and STEEP. Here we ascend the trail (or what Tim, our guide, called a trail. I'm not so sure...). After our less-than-certain but very encouraging guide found the property marker, the whole group let out a collective sigh.

Hike #2

2011-04-10T19:48:00.003-04:00

Today we took the short trip to nearby Melton Hill Lake for hike #2. This is one of our favorite spots because it is puppy friendly. Titan exhausted himself quickly in the Spring sunshine.

Something To Think About...

2011-04-06T11:58:00.008-04:00

Several times a week I visit Donald Miller's blog, www.donmilleris.com. One of my favorite writers, Miller's writing explores the themes of story, faith, and desire. Today's post (click here) is thought provoking, so I wanted to share. Please read it, and don't skip the postscripts.

One of the things that struck me as I read through the responses to Miller's post (yes, I am a "comments" reader) was the number of people who admitted they are not part of an organized church any longer. They express strong opinions and firm declarations that the church that meets within four walls is not for them.

These comments compel me to consider why people leave "church" and why they might not want to return. One of my favorite lines from Miller's post is "Be the church and be united." Simply put; yet, not so simple. I am sad that far too many people have walked away from church because of squabbling, slander, and division (which expose an absence of unity and love).

Miller's post also moves me to consider why I am part of a church - my expectations of its leadership, my understanding of my role as one of its body, and my eagerness or hesitancy (whichever the case may be) to serve, lead, and love.

Just something to think about...

Meandering

2011-04-04T21:56:00.009-04:00

When people find out I have a blog, I quickly make excuses for its condition. "It's a bit schizophrenic" is my usual description. By that I'm referring to the second dictionary definition offered: "a state characterized by the coexistence of contradictory or incompatible elements," not "characterized by emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, disorganized speech, delusions, and hallucinations" (at least I hope not!).

It seems these days that nearly everyone, including my favorite authors, my church, and my veterinarian, have a blog. And many of the blogs out there are finely focused sites with a clear sense of purpose and a set direction. I have to admit...they make me acutely aware of the meandering path of Tucker Tracks.

However, as tempted as I am to make excuses, I don't want to refine this randomness that is our blog. It is its essence. When I began this blog in 2008, the intent was to follow the journey that our family is on. And it's much like the hike we enjoyed this past Sunday.

We set off on one trail, but when it crossed with another we switched paths to discover what lay ahead. We did this many times, and in the process we stumbled across wildflowers, streams, tree galls, silkworms, a bog, and a meadow. If we had stuck to one path, oh, how much we would have missed!

In our meandering, we had a more complete picture of the beauty of the landscape surrounding us. And hopefully in our meandering here on Tucker Tracks, we impart a fuller picture of the beauty of our life and the journey we are on.

For it is a journey. Each photo shows a glimpse of growth, a little love, and the delight of discovery. Each essay tells about the deeper journey of the heart. So, welcome. Thank you for joining us as we wander in our own way here. We hope that you'll find the incompatible somehow compatible and be blessed.

Hike #1

2011-04-04T20:02:00.015-04:00

The Tuckers have a big adventure on the horizon. After ten separate trips to Colorado, Tim and I are heading to the Rocky Mountains together and - best of all - that boys are going too! To prepare for our high-altitude trekking, we've set a lofty goal of a dozen hikes before we depart. This past Sunday was hike #1 at the UT Arboretum in Oak Ridge. Enjoy pictures from our lovely Spring day:

Big Dad's Birthday

2011-03-19T22:12:00.004-04:00

How'd you like to look this good on your 97th birthday? Yes, please!

The boys and I were incredibly lucky to be in Birmingham on March 17. Not because we like to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the Magic City, but because it was Big Dad's birthday, and that's where he lives.

Big Dad is Rev. James Horton, Tim's maternal grandfather, and he has lived in Birmingham for 10+ years now. A former pastor and college professor (he taught religion at Carson-Newman College), Big Dad inspires us with his optimistic personality, quick wit, and incredible memory. We had a wonderful birthday visit with him, and I am thankful for these precious photographs of him and his bright smile.

Movie Mania

2011-03-06T21:25:00.003-05:00

Once a year the characters that comprise our church shine like no other time: our annual leadership banquet. For the past three years, the event has had a theme, and this year it was particularly fun - the movies!

Of course, the choices were nearly limitless. Tim and I could embrace our inner Star Wars and rock a Princess Leah and Hans Solo get-up. We could pay homage to Middle Earth as Aragorn and Arwen. Or we could channel two of my literary favorites, Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett.

In the end, we went as H.I. and Ed from the Coen Brothers' classic, "Raising Arizona." I faded into the background of Tim's appearance. His sideburns and moustache (both real) were quite impressive!

Tim got into his character...maybe a little too much? Naw...he was awesome and earn lots of laughs for his commitment to the character. In fact, the entire crowd wowed with their costumes. One small group came dressed as the cast of "The Wizard of Oz," even down to the flying monkey! Couples represented "Men in Black," "Driving Mrs. Daisy," "The Matrix," "My Fair Lady," and so many other classic film characters. The surprise of the night was the absence of Bella and Edward, at least in person (the staff did produce an entertaining video reinactment of a "Twilight" scene).

Additional entertainment was provided by the staff doing a live song and dance from "Annie" and "The Sound of Music." Plus, the motley crew pictured above (our elders - notice Tim second from right) along with the elders' wives (myself included) did a step dance spoof from the movie "Stomp the Yard." I'm not sure our dance skills impressed anyone, but we certainly entertained if the laughs were any indicator.

Thanks to the Providence staff for putting together this excellent evening to honor the many volunteers who serve every week at our church. We enjoyed our night as H.I. and Ed, and in the end, we were a little sad to see the sideburns and moustache go. Here's looking forward to next year and whatever costume (and facial hair) it will require.

Glory Revealed in Grief

2011-02-22T21:58:00.007-05:00

Last fall when I attended the Captivating retreat in Colorado, I met a stunning woman. Though she stood tall and graceful and had super-chic short hair that I envied, it wasn't her exterior beauty that drew my attention. It was her radiance. She eminated a sense of pleasure and delight throughout the weekend.

When I returned from the trip, she and I became "Facebook" friends, and it was in this social network that I learned more about this new acquaintance. I flipped through her photos, seeing picture after picture of her beautiful smile, her friends, her family, when I was arrested by a black-and-white photograph of a girl...her daughter, Hadley.

I would come to learn that Hadley had been born with an underdeveloped brain and required constant care from her mom and dad. To phrase it like that doesn't honor what was required of them over Hadley's 12 years. But I learned that Leith and Aaron parented Hadley with incredible passion, tender mercy, and enduring faith.

Hadley passed away on January 28. The video in the following post is one they shared at her celebration service to tell their story. Please take fifteen minutes to sit, tissue in hand, and watch as Leith and Aaron talk about their journey with Hadley and, through it all, their journey with God.

As I watch, I marvel at the radiant woman I had the honor to meet last fall. I am thankful for the encounter which led to this profound glimpse of loss, grief, and faith.

A Grief Observed

2011-02-22T21:58:00.006-05:00

Roaming

2011-01-17T10:54:00.014-05:00

Yesterday we took Titan, our puppy, to Melton Hill State Park near our house. Tim and the boys had done this recently, but this was my first visit to this beautiful park. Since we were the only visitors (other than a few fishermen), we let Titan run free. It is a delight to watch him explore and enjoy some freedom that our house and yard don't provide. Here are some photos from our lovely afternoon:

Seriously Sweet

2011-01-16T18:08:00.008-05:00

The sweetest treat I received for my birthday was a weekend visit from Jinda and Rivers Green. Jinda and I have been close friends since our days living in Birmingham, and Rivers is her 11-week-old son. What a precious little baby!

Look at that face! Folks refer to Rivers' dark hair, but all I see is an auburn mane about to reveal itself. Rivers' mom has gorgeous red hair, as do his three brothers and one sister. Though his daddy is a brunette, I think this one will follow his siblings with beautiful red locks.

Titan was incredibly curious about Rivers, and he desperately wanted the freedom to examine him. A lick or two was all he got (oh, and a pacifier, which he swiped at the first opportunity!).

We each got a turn with the baby. Tim kindly babysat on Saturday night so that Jinda and I could go out to dinner with some girlfriends to celebrate my recent birthday. He had plenty of help from Reed and his friend Sophie, who were extremely attentive to Rivers.

Reed was mesmerized by Rivers and hung close throughout the weekend. He made sure his pacifier stayed in place and that his coos and grunts were met with appropriate concern.

On Sunday morning we said a reluctant goodbye to Rivers and his mommy. It was such a delight to have a baby in our house and our arms again. He captivated us all!

A Snowy Start

2011-01-12T12:28:00.005-05:00

It's the new year and the start of a new semester, but it is off to a slow, snowy start. Mind you...I'm not complaining. I'll take days at home with my boys any time, any way (and one with Tim too? Bonus!). So far this week, we've enjoyed three snow days in a row. I cannot remember ever having this pleasure since the boys started school. Here are some pictures of our wintery fun:

Snow day lesson #1: Never trust Dad.

Snow day lesson #2: Snow angels are fun to make, but you will always get snow down your pants.

Snow day lesson #3: The driveway will only be shoveled if Tim is snowed in too.

Snow day lesson #4: Sometimes the snow is best enjoyed from a warm, comfortable spot.

Snow day lesson #5: Rules are made to be broken; hence, dog on the couch enjoying a cozy snowday snuggle.

Restore and Remember

2011-01-10T23:07:00.007-05:00

Last year as the celebration of my 40th birthday came to a close, I learned the tragic news of the earthquake that struck Haiti that very day. Everything froze in that moment, as we had no idea as to the fate of the orphans I had been so privileged to visit just two months prior in November of 2009. Thank God these 100+ children were safe and well and remain safe and well today. However, to say that Haiti is still devastated now...a year later...would be accurate.

One Vision, whom I traveled with and who cares for these orphans, has called for a day of prayer on January 12. Please read the following message from their Web site and join me in prayer on this day (and every day that God brings the country of Haiti and its people to your mind). Thank you!

From www.onevisionintl.com:

One year ago, January 12th became a day of utter tragedy for the people of Haiti. The earthquake devastated the country and claimed the lives of roughly 230,000citizens.

Despite massive humanitarian efforts by the international community, the country is still in disarray. The Cholera epidemic, already responsible for the death of thousands, and the controversial results of last month’s presidential elections have both played a significant role in the continued despair of the Haitian people. However, we hold firm to the belief that there is still hope this country.

We would like to invite you to participate on Wednesday, January 12th, in an area wide day of prayer for the country of Haiti and its people. The purpose of this event is to honor the memory of those who lost their lives that day and also to pray for the future of the nation.

As firm believers in the power of prayer, we want to encourage others to remember the events of that day and pray for progress in the recovery efforts of the country. Over the past year, so many people have sacrificed time, efforts and money to help the Haitian people. Let’s continue our support by praying for their continued safety and security.

Join us as we pray for Haiti. Please pray for:
• the cleanup and rebuilding efforts
• the Cholera epidemic
• the Presidential election
• violence against women living in tent cities
• prevalent child slavery
• the safety of aid workers
• the hope of Jesus to fill the country

(Bitter)sweet

2011-01-02T21:56:00.006-05:00

When Seth was a baby, we lived in an older house in Birmingham with beautiful hardwood floors. There was a time when the only way I could get him to bed was to rock him until he was completely and totally asleep and then tip-toe to his crib to lay him gingerly down. We would rock, I would sing, and finally when his eyelids closed, I would count to 25. Then, I would hold my breath and begin the short journey from the rocker to the crib. It seemed more often than not I would step on one of those old floorboards and "creak..." His eyes would spring open, and I would return to the rocker to begin the process all over again.

Once we moved to Knoxville, he moved into a "big boy" bed. And bedtime meant lengthy snuggles until he fell asleep. When we made the transition from crib to twin bed, we told Seth that it was "just like" his crib, and he needed to call for one of us before getting out of bed in the morning. Being the obedient child that he is, he followed this rule...until he was nearly nine.

As a parent, in those moments, I felt like these routines would continue forever. I really couldn't imagine a night when I didn't have to rock him or snuggle with him until he fell asleep. Then, I wondered if he would call me from his college dorm room to ask permission to get out of his bed each morning. Yet, as I sit here remembering, I can't recall the exact moment these routines ended. More often it seems like I'm jolted awake, and I realize that something is different.

Tonight is one of those moments. I sit typing in a quiet house with Reed sleeping in one bedroom and Seth sleeping in another. It's official: they no longer share a bedroom. Ever since Reed graduated to his "big boy" bed six years ago they have been roommates, but this summer Seth acknowledged he'd like his own room. So, after dragging it out as long as I could, yesterday Tim and I spent the day moving Seth out of "their" room and into "his" room. Thankfully the boys were at my mother-in-law's, so I could work -- tireless and tearless.

While my head logically knows this move across the hall is no big deal, my heart feels it is significant. It's like when you bring home your second child, your first child instantly seems so much bigger, so much older. Just walking into Seth's room tonight I was caught off guard by his long body curled up with book-in-hand. It seems I have been jolted awake to discover that my toddler is now nearly a teenager.

I am going to miss, probably more than anyone, the sight of them in their bunk beds and the sound of them chatting it up long after the lights go out. But to make the transition easier (for who?) I put walkie-talkies on their nightstands. Tonight before I could walk from Reed's room to Seth's room to tuck him in, I heard his walkie-talkie beep. "Good night," came Reed's voice. "Good night," Seth replied. Smile.

After eleven years of motherhood I am finally learning how fleeting all of it is, from the little things (diapers, bottles, naptimes) to the big things (snuggling in the bed, reading to them, holding hands in public), and I am learning to cherish it all. I want to breathe them in, soak them up, and marvel at this great gift I have been given to parent them. So, tonight as I dry these tears and turn off the laptop, it is to two bedrooms I will visit before I tuck myself in. Mental note: January 2, 2011 - the start of a new routine.

Real Time/Clock Time

2011-01-01T10:36:00.003-05:00

I love when you pick up a book and it speaks clearly to you in your present circumstance. This has happened to me many times with all types of books, and it has taught me to read with a sense of expectation.

This evening as I was continuing Henri Nouwen's Turn My Mourning Into Dancing, I read this passage that discusses time - real time and clock time. Could there be a more suitable subject to ponder on New Year's Day? Nouwen writes:

"Hope that grows out of trust puts us in a different relationship to the hours and days of our lives. We are constantly tempted to look at time as chronology, as chronos, as a series of disconnected incidents and accidents. This is one way we think we can manage time or subdue our tasks. Or a way that we feel the victims of our schedules. For this approach also means that time becomes burdensome. We divide our time into minutes and hours and weeks and let its compartments dominate us.

As still not completely converted people we immerse ourselves in clock time. Time becomes a means to an end, not moments in which to enjoy God or pay attention to others. And we end up believing that the real thing is always still to come. Time for celebrating or praying or dreaming gets squeezed out. No wonder we get fatigued and deflated! No wonder we sometimes feel helpless or impoverished in our experience of time.

But the gospel speaks of 'full' time. What we are seeking is already here...We begin to see history not as a collection of events interrupting what we 'must' get done. We see time in light of faith in the God of history. We see how the events of this year are not just a series of incidents and accidents, happy or unhappy, but the molding hands of God, who wants us to grow and mature.

Time has to be converted, then, from chronos, mere chronological time, to kairos, a New Testament Greek word that has to do with opportunity, with moments that seem ripe for their intended purpose, Then, even while life continues to seem harried, while it continues to have hard moments, we say, 'Something good is happening amid all this.' We get glimpses of how God might be working out his purposes in our days. Time becomes not just something to get through or manipulate or manage, but the arena of God's work with us. Whatever happens - good things or bad, pleasant or problematic - we look and ask, 'What might God be doing here?' We see the events of the day as continuing occasions to change the heart. Time points to Another and begins to speak to us of God.

We are part of a very impatient culture, however. We want many things and we want them quickly. And we feel that we should be able to take away the pains, heal the wounds, fill the holes, and create experiences of great meaningfulness - now. It is not difficult to discover how impatient we are...But a view of time as kairos helps us to be patient in believing. If we are patient in this sense we can look at all events of each day - expected or unexpected - as holding a promise for us. Patience becomes in us the attitude that says that we cannot force life but have to let it grow by its own time and development. Patience lets us see the people we meet, the events of the day, and the unfolding history of our times all part of that slow process of growth."

As the calendar turns to a new year and another birthday looms in its wake, I tuck these words into my heart for meditation and inspiration. To be completely converted to live in kairos rather than chronos...now that would be something.

Christmas Day

2010-12-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas day. The boys still wake early and eagerly to go downstairs for presents. Thankfully we have them trained to wait until a decent hour, so this year we actually held them off until nearly 8 a.m. Enjoy these pictures from our holiday:

MiMi and BaBa were here to enjoy the fun with us.

The boys show off their Christmas surprise: an iTouch.

Some sweet hugs from a thankful boy.

A family photo commemorating Christmas 2010. A very merry one, indeed.

A Christmas Invitation

2010-12-24T22:15:00.005-05:00

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32

From Henri Nouwen's Advent and Christmas:

"God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, and to help us realize that we are not walking in circles but moving towards the house of peace and joy.

This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation: we are not alone on our journey. The God of love who gave us life sent us his only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that he walks with us.

Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and let him - whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend - be our companion."

Joy to the world...the Lord has come! Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas in LA

2010-12-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

Our Christmas celebration begins with several days at my parents' home in LaFollette. My sister, Beth, joins us - along with her dog, Bella - for this time. She brought her new skills in origami to teach the boys and me how to make these beautiful origami snowflakes:

Uncle Barry joined us on Wednesday, and Tim came on Thursday afternoon. Thursday night we were joined by my Uncle David and cousins Diane and Karen for our big Christmas dinner prepared by Mom. Yum!

Christmas eve morning we excitedly opened our first presents.

Reed rests under the Christmas tree after all of the packages have been unwrapped.

Tim with my brother-in-law Barry.

The boys with MiMi and BaBa.

By lunchtime, it's time to say our goodbyes as Beth and Barry head back to Nashville for Christmas. We left soon thereafter for Knoxville, but we brought MiMi and BaBa with us to share the Christmas day fun.

Here's the entire Dunham clan, circa 2010, including our newest canine additions: Titan and Bella.

Surprise Snow

2010-12-14T20:00:00.000-05:00

It seemed too good to be true! A snow day in December?! On Sunday night when we exited the movie theater after seeing the latest "Chronicles of Narnia" film, we entered our own personal Narnia. It was a snowy wonderland in West Knoxville.

In all we only received about two inches of snow, but that plus the ice was enough to merit a day off from school yesterday and a late start today. Here are a few pictures from our day of frigid fun:

This was our first snow with Titan, and he is definitely a fan of the fluffy white stuff! On Sunday night he checked out the first flakes as they fell.

Here are our two happy campers celebrating their day off from school. Given that this is our last week before Christmas break, it certainly felt like a bonus. I confess I was just as excited because it meant a day off from work for me too (one of the perks of working at their school).

Titan loved chasing his tennis ball in the snow but gladly abandoned it for one of the boys' snowy gloves. They spent a lot of time chasing him to retrieve their gloves.

Even though we didn't have a lot of snow, there was enough for some good sledding down our driveway. Here the boys enjoy their slippery ride to the bottom:

Titan came inside from the snow to find someone else cozied up inside his crate. Fred must have enjoyed a nap while we were all outside playing. Titan just sat patiently and watched Fred until he vacated the crate...so funny!

The Season of Advent

2010-11-28T06:20:00.001-05:00

Today marks the first Sunday of Advent, and to me the beginning of the Christmas season. Though our neighbor's have had a "Countdown to Christmas" clock in their front yard since October 1 (no joke), it is on this day I begin to anticipate the coming of Christmas.

Here is a devotional that we shared as a family tonight as we began to consider the Advent season upon us. May it encourage you this holiday season...

"The Church centers its attention these days on a season we call 'Advent,' a season of preparation and hope. We are summoned in the first week of Advent to be on guard, to be ready, and prepared for the coming of the Lord.

Unfortunately, this holy season gets lost in the shuffle of preparations for Christmas, already begun in our secular society. A maze of glitter and frivolity highlights the material aspects of a feast that is long off, and misses the true spiritual meaning of the event.

So we need the Advent season to help us focus our attention on a spiritual preparation of the celebration of this greatest event of history, the birth of Christ. All too quickly Christmas day will be here. It will have much more meaning for us if we have prepared for that day spiritually.

I invite you to take a moment each day to reflect on our reason for hope this Advent season. Take out a little time to enter into the season with hope in your heart, awaiting this coming feast as the people of Israel did...You will find as they did, that God comes in a special way to the people who steadfastly hope for his coming."

Blink

2010-11-22T12:52:00.013-05:00

I confess...I like routine. The predictability of a day, the ability to anticipate what's coming, and the comfort that comes in knowing what to expect. Of course, parenthood has rocked my routine through the years (the 3 a.m. wake-up call by a sick little one; the "forgotten" science project due tomorrow; impromptu sleepovers and playdates.) But I try to maintain some routine despite demanding days and changing times.

Lately, I've been reminded how it can all change in the blink of an eye. And I'm not just talking about a glitch in the schedule. One's entire world can be forever altered with one decision, one phone call, one conversation. Tim and I have seen this happen a lot lately in the lives of co-workers, friends, and neighbors. Tragic decisions, heartbreaking situations, and lives turned upside down.

Just last week we were walking our puppy around the block when we noticed some men building a ramp onto our neighbor's back deck. Earlier this month the teenage son was in a car accident resulting in the amputation of a foot. They haven't returned home yet, but the house has begun to be prepared for their arrival and all of the changes now required for this young man's daily life.

A friend's wife has left him, and he's left figuring out what it means to split custody of their only child when she's moved two hours away.

Another friend's long-time boyfriend died of a heart attack. He was 42-years-old.

What is our response when we witness such events? Surprise. We just can't believe it when we hear about couples who are divorcing, friends with sick children, or an unexpected death.

The increase in these surprises over the course of the past few months is...well, surprising. What's going on? Perhaps it has to do with our age (we've both just crossed over into our 40s this year) and where we are in life. Midlife...or so they say...and it seems that either illness and injury lay in wait or way too many people are indulging in the "crises" they believe are due them.

Perhaps we live in an ivory tower and have forgotten that it is situated smack dab in the middle of a lost and broken world? I think we all too often think that everyone's tower is ivory too, and we either don't believe such calamity can fall our way or we fail to consider the hurts that the tower walls may contain.

Let me dispel any myths about our own tower...We cling to each other (and many times we push each other away). We laugh together (and we cry, sulk, and stew). We love each other (and we often wound each another too). We forgive (and we try to forget). We are thankful (but sometimes neglect to offer thanks).

Today I say thank you to the One who has provided it all...our family, our health, our joy, and our hope. And I cling to the one sure thing in a world that offers constant change: "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever" (1 Chronicles 16:34).

A Harry Potter Halloween

2010-10-31T21:55:00.002-04:00

Most Halloweens I can take little to no credit for the boys' costume choices. This year, however, they were both drawing a blank when it came time to decide on their disguise. Ninja? Been there. Knight? Done that. Jedi? So 2009...

So, one night as we were cuddled up watching "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" it came to me. Seth = Harry Potter. Reed = Draco Malfoy. Not in character, of course, but in looks...yes!

Reed was sick all day, but he rallied for the Trick or Treating (imagine that). Here are pictures from our Hogwarts Halloween:

Smoky Mountain High

2010-10-19T20:31:00.000-04:00

On Saturday of fall break we returned home the long way. Tim loves to meander on the road less travelled, but I don't often let him. I was feeling generous I suppose or inspired by the fall foliage, so we drove home through Cherokee, North Carolina past Sugarlands Visitor Center and then through Townsend.

It was a beautiful day, and luckily most of the traffic was coming the other way, so we were able to keep our slow but steady pace through the mountains. Here are our pictures from one of the scenic overlooks:

Trip Down Memory Lane

2010-10-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

On Saturday of fall break we drove to Black Mountain, North Carolina, to visit Camp Crestridge. My sister, Beth, and I attended this girls' camp four summers during our childhood, but I hadn't been back in probably 26 years. Camp was empty, so we were able to explore on our own and enjoy a lovely fall day here.

Our first stop as we climbed the hill into camp was the stable and riding ring. Beth spent many hours here during her camping days. Me, not so many...

Luckily the chapel was unlocked, so we were able to go inside. The green stained-glass windows brought back a sense of familiarity that the hilly terrain hadn't. However, the more we walked around the camp, the more my memories stirred.

I began attending Crestridge as a Chickasaw (the youngest campers were the Chippewas; the oldest the Cherokees).

Whenever I've told Tim about Crestridge, I've mentioned the many, many steps leading up to my cabins during my second and third summers. He teased me, believing this hill had grown higher and higher in my memory. He wasn't teasing me any more when he tackled Choctaw Hill himself. As you can see, the railroad-tie steps look unending. They feel that way too as you are climbing them!

They have recently renovated the cabins at Crestridge. I was happy to see they kept evidence of the original walls with our shoe-polish graffiti inside (areas covered with plexiglass showing the original walls with signatures of campers).

We ended our day at the open-air pavilion. To the left is the lake, which I avoided at all costs when I was a camper. My childish mind couldn't understand that "manmade" meant the creatures it contained were limited. It looked much less scary void of its murky waters.

It was such fun to return to Crestridge and remember the summer days I spent there as a child. It was also fun to share it with Seth and Reed, who now have "summer camp" memories of their own.

Beautiful Day at Biltmore

2010-10-17T21:55:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Tim's generous employers (and my stellar performance in a "dance-off" at the annual company picnic...yes, you read that right!) we won two tickets to the Biltmore Estate. Perfect timing since fall break was just around the corner. So, on Friday we enjoyed a spectacular day in Asheville. Luckily our good friends, the Larkin family, were also visiting Biltmore so we enjoyed spending the afternoon with them.

We rented the audiotour for each of us, so the boys enjoyed having their own headset to lead them through the house. Here we stand on the loggia overlooking the stunning mountain view.

As you can see, it was a beautiful fall day with amazing blue skies. Though the shuttle bus driver told us they expected more than 4,000 visitors that day, we enjoyed touring the house and exploring the grounds at our own pace.

The gardens and grounds of Biltmore Estate are beautiful in any season. Catch a glimpse of the fall foliage and plantings in the pictures below:

Since our last visit probably ten years ago, Biltmore has added Antler Hill Village surrounding the winery. There's an outdoor shop, the ice creamery, and a few restaurants. Here Reed and his friend Sophie enjoy the sculpture of Cornelia Vanderbilt and her dog Cedric.

The Farm at Antler Hill Village was especially fun for the kids, with a blacksmith, farm, and games from the early 20th century. Here Tim and the boys try the "Game of Grace," which they caught on to quickly (look for the wooden ring midair in the first photo). Below they pet on a 21-year-old horse now enjoying his retirement at Antler Hill Farm.

While everyone enjoyed petting the animals at the farm, Reed seemed to have a special affection for the goats. He spent time petting each and every goat, and he shared a long, quiet moment with the one little fellow (third photo down). I wish I knew what Reed was thinking.

What a beautiful day to share with our friends! Here's a group photo taken at the end of our time at Biltmore Estate.

Garden of the Gods

2010-10-10T19:13:00.009-04:00

If the Garden of the Gods is just a taste of the landscape of Colorado, then the splendor of this state is truly awe-inspiring. Here are a few photos of the towering sandstone in the Garden from my recent visit. Enjoy, and pay particular attention to the skilled climbers braving these 300' natural pillars. Incredible!

Captivating Journey

2010-10-09T22:56:00.008-04:00

I've just returned from my sixth Captivating retreat, and all I can say is "Wow!" Well, that's not all I can say, but imagine me standing on a mountain overlooking this scene with hands held high sighing loudly..."Wow!" Yep. That's it.

I know it can be difficult to understand how my sixth Captivating experience could possibly be as rich and as meaningful as my first, but it is true. Different? Absolutely. But still surprising and breathtaking.

This was my first Captivating journey in the Fall, so the change in landscape was new and fresh. The aspens were stunning, and the 80-degree weather welcome. Each day we spend time outside journaling and praying, and to do so in such a spectacular environment was incredible.

Jennifer and I found this great swing with an even greater view up the hill behind the work crew cabin. Behaving for a proper picture proved difficult. Claiming this spot for the quiet times each day proved even more difficult...apparently we weren't the only ones to discover this gem of a spot!

Over the years I've been lucky enough to share Captivating with a few friends from home. This time I was so blessed to have two dear friends with me: Jennifer serving on her second work crew and Janna attending for the first time.

After Sunday's final session, Stasi Eldredge chats with attendees and poses for many pictures. She is patient, present, and so engaging. Truly captivating!

As we were leaving the ranch on Sunday, Janna, Jennifer and I had to stop for this panoramic picture. The landscape is truly amazing and speaks of the journey we shared.

What's Up With Work Crew?

2010-10-09T20:25:00.025-04:00

In 2007 when I applied for my third Captivating retreat, I yearned to partner with Ransomed Heart to help them with this amazing event and their important ministry. One opportunity was available - work crew. When I visited their Web site to read through the application for this team of volunteer helpers, I was arrested by the age restriction: 35 years old! Yikes! I was 37 at the time.

Now, not one to buck the system usually, I e-mailed a question: would they consider a healthy 37-year-old for the team? I like to think that my e-mail changed the dynamics of future work crews (however, my friend Cindy Lotton, who was also over the age limit, also sent an e-mail that same year...perhaps we can share the credit!). I was accepted and served on my first work crew at the March 2007 retreat.

The next year I served on the work crew again, and then in 2009 I had the honor to lead my first Captivating work crew. It's something I love, love, love to do, and I feel incredibly blessed to be invited to do so by my friends at Ransomed Heart.

Here are pictures from the Sept/Oct 2010 Captivating showing the incredible work crew I had the honor to lead: 13 beautiful women from across the United States. In case you're wondering, I'll share a little about what we do during the four-day retreat.

The past three Captivatings I've been lucky to have one of my closest friends, Jennifer, along for the journey. She's served on the past two work crews with me.

The work crew flies in on the Wednesday prior to the retreat and connects in Colorado Springs. I love to start my trip with a visit to the Garden of the Gods...such a stunning landscape that resets me to Colorado time mentally and spiritually.

Our work crew arrives at Frontier Ranch late on Wednesday, and we spend Thursday readying the ranch for the arrival of the attendees. This year we hosted more than 350 women from 27 countries. Incredible! Two of the main projects we focus on are preparing the registration area and the resource area. The resource area is set up in the dining hall and offers the books, CDs, and DVDs by John and Stasi Eldredge and Ransomed Heart. Above you can see Jennifer at one table in the completed resource area.

On Friday and Saturday afternoons the attendees enjoy two hours of free time. We were fortunate to have incredible weather for this retreat, so the women could choose from several activities: rappelling (the rappelling tower is picture above), the ropes course, the three-person swing called "The Screamer" (pictured above), and even horseback riding and fly-fishing lessons. Work crew helps the Young Life staff manage these activities. Above you can see Jennifer at the landing pad of The Screamer. Two members of work crew "catch" the courageous souls who brave this free-falling swing.

Work crew stays in Thunderbird, one of the many great facilities at Frontier Ranch. We do a little sleeping and a lot of talking. Fourteen women sharing one bathroom (okay, there were multiple shower stalls, sinks, and facilities) can be interesting, but we did well and were all ready by our 7 a.m. meeting time each morning.

On Sunday we gathered at "The Screamer" landing pad for our morning meeting. The main event? Watching the sunrise together.

After the retreat ends at noon on Sunday, we stay behind to help the Ransomed Heart team pack up all of the supplies and resources. By 1:30 p.m., we're pulling out of the ranch -- both invigorated and exhausted. Above is a picture of the complete work crew. What a group of unique, spirited, and seeking women! It was a true joy to walk through the weekend with them. Well done, friends!

Birthday Blessing

2010-09-23T18:47:00.004-04:00

Finding the perfect birthday gift for my mother can be tricky -- not because she is picky, but because she is content. However, this year I have to say that I succeeded! How lucky that her birthday coincided (okay, it was five days early) with the Legacy of Hope luncheon featuring author Francine Rivers. Also, how lucky that I just happened to be off of work today so I could accompany her to the luncheon!

Francine Rivers is the author of the beloved book Redeeming Love, among many other works, and my mom has read them all. We were delighted to stay afterward to meet Mrs. Rivers and have her sign two books for mom. She was also kind enough to pose for the above picture.

Happy birthday, Mom! I'm glad I was able to share this birthday "treat" with you...it was a gift to me too.

(Another) Brand New Day

2010-08-27T20:25:00.000-04:00

Okay, we're not to this point yet, but give me another week or two! For the first time in nine years I've returned to full-time work. No, it's not 9 to 5...more like 8 to 3. Not quite as catchy a tune.

I am glad to be working again this year at CAK elementary school, where Reed is in third grade. Last year I enjoyed a part-time position in the office; this year I am working as a teacher's aide Monday through Friday.

Wow, when I last worked full time we only had one child, and he was still in diapers. We didn't have homework to do, piano to practice, a puppy to play with, or school uniforms to wash. I came home, and Seth and I headed to the park to swing.

It has been a tremendous blessing to be home with Seth and Reed these past nine years. Honestly, it wasn't an easy transition for me - from working mom to stay-at-home mom - but I came to cherish the freedom of being with my boys all day every day.

Now I find myself making another difficult transition. That's part of the journey, though - isn't it? Maneuvering the bends in the road. In this case, dust bunnies, soiled laundry, and dirty dishes are piled in these bends.

So, if you see Seth and Reed with stains on their school uniforms, please give me some grace (and keep your camera handy because Lego clothes might be next!).

Brand New Day

2010-08-18T08:09:00.003-04:00

Well, I'll choose to look at the positive (it's a brand new school year full of adventures, fun, and growth for Seth and Reed) rather than the negative (it's the end of summer and I really didn't want to say goodbye to my boys this morning...waaaahhhh...).

This morning was indeed the beginning of their new school year, with Reed starting 3rd grade and Seth starting 6th. Yes, that's right - Seth is now a middle schooler! Below are a few traditional "first day" pictures (plus a new tradition...a pic with our puppy). Enjoy!

Sunshine in Santa Rosa

2010-08-09T09:46:00.025-04:00

Our 12th annual beach trip with my family took us to Santa Rosa, Florida. We stayed in "Serendipity," a beautiful house with plenty of room for the eight of us and our two dogs. Beaching it with Bella and Titan was different but a lot of fun.

Each morning Titan woke around 6 a.m., so Tim and I got an early start walking him. Then, we'd enjoy time on the beach or in the pool at our house. Having a pool in our backyard was really a treat! Below are some pictures taken around the house...

One afternoon we went to Shell Island, where we enjoyed playing in the clear Gulf waters. Don't be fooled by the sweet pictures below...the boys were responding to my instruction, "Act like you love each other." (I think you can tell from Seth's kiss, however, that they really do!)

Here the boys are on their way to the beach. There was an awesome area where a creek fed into the ocean. The boys enjoyed building dams to divert the water--even BaBa joined their efforts.

Probably the highlight of the trip was having our personal swimming pool. It was wonderful having it right in our backyard!

After five years at the South Carolina shores, it was fun to visit a new area and return to the beautiful waters of the Gulf Coast, where our beach tradition began.

Rooted in Fear

2010-07-30T08:55:00.009-04:00

Yesterday during a conversation a friend told me he is afraid to fly in an airplane, and he will never fly. He recalled a story from his only experience when the flight got off to a delayed and then bumpy start. His utter fear of flying began at that moment...and he was four.

He's now a 28-year-old man who has never stepped foot back onto an airplane. Now, I know a lot of people have a very real fear of flying. I confess that each time I fly I feel a surge of adrenaline as the engines prepare for take-off. And I feel a sense of panic if I sit too far back in the cabin or we idle on the runway too long (especially after landing).

What struck me, though, is how this young man is letting his fear deprive him of some really wonderful things in life. He has a job that would allow him to travel fairly extensively and visit many amazing places, but he won't go. He has started dating a lovely woman, but he admits the relationship probably won't last because of his determination not to travel.

It's not that he doesn't want to go to these places and experience these things. He wants to go; he is just gripped by fear.

As I have journeyed into my own story these past few years, I have realized how deep and far our fears can reach. How the crippling began sometimes when were too small or young to even remember when it took root. And how difficult it is for us to remove it from the soil of our life.

In my own weeding, I've realized that when I'm living in fear I'm missing out: on joy, on experiences, on relationship. Scripture tells me that it is a God-less place: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). The enemy of my heart would have me live ensnared in fear the rest of my days. Jesus warns, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

Where fear is ruling, God is not allow to rule. When fear is ruling, life is not abundant. Thus, my journey began and so it continues... because I want God and this life He offers. Abundant life, not gripped by fear but graced by love.

I write all of this as prologue. To lead you here, to this beautiful post written by singer/writer Andrew Peterson. Please click here and continue reading: The Rabbit Room#more-5656 Peterson titles his post "Fearless Faith"...Yes, please.

Tanking

2010-07-26T10:56:00.010-04:00

Tanking: to purposely lose a match, because of poor mental game or other reason...

Delete the word "purposely" and there you have it: my last tennis clinic. I tanked.

I didn't just play poorly during the 1-1/2 hour lesson; I collapsed. I couldn't move my feet, couldn't make contact with most balls, and couldn't look my instructor in the eye. I had one goal and one goal only: to make it through the clinic and to my car before I started crying.

It started so normally. This was my third clinic (meaning I was playing with several other ladies and my coach), so I didn't feel particularly nervous. It had been a good morning. And I was actually looking forward to playing after a couple of weeks off.

However, within the first few volleys I realized that things were not going well. The lobs my coach hit my way seemed to be in fast forward, and my feet were moving in slow-mo. My timing was off. And it spiraled down from there.

Now, every time I go to my tennis lesson or a clinic Tim encourages me, "Just have fun." Sounds simple enough, but for me...ugh. Not so simple. As my thoughts descended from frustration to failure, I watched the other ladies laughing at their gaffes and heaped more contempt upon my already slumping shoulders.

I wish I could just have fun with it. I wish I could silence the criticism. I wish I could see it for the tiny thing it is...but the fact is it doesn't feel so tiny. It feels huge and hard and true.

When I decided to take tennis lessons, I honestly knew this would be a part of the process. I was stepping into a fearful place and knew the journey wouldn't be one only of sunshine and success. However, the first few months have been utterly encouraging and hugely redemptive. So, when I found myself standing on the courts in the middle of this thunderstorm, I felt ambushed.

I dreaded my next lesson, facing my coach, and talking about the clinic. However, I scheduled it right away (gotta get back on the bicycle, and all of that...). When I arrived at the courts, I discovered that God had already arrived before me. The outdoor courts were full, so my coach and I found a quiet sanctuary in the empty indoor courts where we could enter into a spacious time of talking and teaching.

My coach is a young man who doesn't understand the weightiness of what's happening with me on the courts. And that is okay. It's surprising to me how God can use even those who are unaware of His purposes to accomplish them. But He can, and He is.

In The Healing Path, Dan Allender writes:

Disruption of shalom (peace) is the soil God uses to grow us to become the people we are meant to be...We will not move to become like him and know the sweet joy he desires for us if we are comfortable where we are. When our peace is shattered, the resulting doubt and confusion send us on a deeply personal search that can transform us and lead us to abundant joy...When the disruption compels us to search, we eventually find ourselves in a corner where are forced to turn and stand face to face with God. When will we encounter God? We can't predict. How will it change us when we do? We can't explain. But we remember moments when the search led us not to find, but to be found. We all know odd moments of epiphany that shake us to our bones with his presence and his words for us. And those moments lead us not only to trust him (a little bit more), but they serve as the foundation for our growing sense of who we are and who we are meant to become.

Allender's words resonate with me, and though I think of my next clinic with apprehension, I also feel expectant. I began tennis with the knowledge that I was entering into something much larger in my story. I was inviting this disruption for the sake of transformation. So I must choose, whether my next lesson ends in triumph or tears, to stay on the courts and keep swinging.

Big Four Oh

2010-07-23T15:26:00.003-04:00

Apparently turning 40 is no big deal to a man, or at least my man, because there's been no mention of it by him in the days leading up to it. Me? I think I began pondering this milestone the day I turned 39.

It's true. Tim lives very much in the present and enjoys each day as it comes. I appreciate that about him and know it is just one way we compliment each other.

Blessings to you on this day, YOUR day, and thank you for each of the 14,600 days that you've brought your own unique goodness, kindness, and joy to this world. Happy birthday Tim!

Six Months Later

2010-07-14T08:55:00.009-04:00

It's amazing that six months have passed since a devasting earthquake struck Haiti, destroying so much, killing so many, and leaving so many injured, homeless, and in despair. You'll remember that the children in the care of One Vision were unharmed; however, the quake left them homeless yet again.

Since the earthquake the children have been living in a temporary location closer to the property where the orphanage will eventually be built. And they are doing well. They are still receiving clean water to drink and food to eat from One Vision, thanks to the money their monthly sponsors faithfully give.

The children wearing their new One Vision t-shirts, with a Knoxville team who travelled to Haiti in June 2010.

The challenges One Vision face are plentiful: a great number of children were orphaned because of the quake. This means many more children are now in One Vision's care. The cost of providing water, food, and medicine for the children tripled as a result of the quake. And the children have been split into two groups [the older ones (teens and young adults) and the younger ones (elementary age)] and now live in two different locations.

At the end of this year, the older group will be released from One Vision's care. As someone who visited the entire group twice in 2009 and specifically worked with this older group in November, it's hard to think about this; however, I understand that this was a difficult decision that One Vision had to make. So, how can we help this group? Pray for them. Pray for their protection, their provision, and for opportunities for their future.

The younger group, which continues to grow, will eventually move onto the One Vision Hub, which will include the orphanage, a church, and a school. Construction is to begin later this year. Groups continue to travel to Haiti with One Vision, and these five-day trips are amazing opportunities to see the great need of this land, the inspiring smiles of these children, and the tremendous hope of the One Vision project firsthand.

To know more about One Vision, to learn how you can sponsor a child, and to inquire about upcoming trips, please visit www.onevisionintl.com.

Lyrical

2010-07-12T18:35:00.008-04:00

Imagine a gauky teenage girl sitting on the floor in front of a dual-cassette player. She's tediously transcribing the words of Lionel Richie's "Truly." (Play, rewind, play, rewind...)

In a time when one can find the words to nearly any song online, it's been a long time since a song has moved me to sit down with a notebook and pen to write down the lyrics. However, that's exactly what Andrew Peterson's new song makes me want to do.

"Dancing in the Minefields" is a beautiful ballad about marriage...sharing life with another, committing to the journey, and perserving. The lyrics are so rich and true that I want to pause with every line to echo an affirmation, "Yes, yes."

Listen to this amazing song, and watch the beautiful video. And Tim, if Casey Kasem was still around, I would dedicate this one to you.

Click here, and give it time to "buffer" before you play it. That way it won't stop and start and you can enjoy it without disruption: Andrew Peterson's "Dancing in the Mine Fields"

While you are waiting for it to buffer, read the article about Andrew Peterson on the left-hand side of the page. It's an excellent portrait of this man and his rich insights about life, art, community, and faith.

Hello Tonight

2010-07-12T16:45:00.013-04:00

When I was a teenager, my mother was extremely cool to take my sister and me to concerts. From Loretta Lynn, Kool and the Gang, and Chicago (our first three) to Amy Grant, the Jackson's Victory tour, and Sting, she was a good sport to sit through performances that didn't really appeal to her musical taste.

Well, I am learning that life comes full circle and often surprises us when it makes a complete loop. Last Thursday night was one of those moments. Tim and I went to see Chris Tomlin in concert for the third time with our friends Jennifer and Andre. This time we decided to include our middle school-age sons, Seth and Eric.

The billing on the Hello Tonight! tour is Chris Tomin and TobyMac. I have to confess that: #1. I assumed Chris Tomlin would be the main act, and #2. I was not too familiar with TobyMac's music. Instead, Chris Tomlin came onstage first. His performance was, as usual, amazing, and it was a joy to watch Seth and Eric engage in the worship along with the thousands of others in attendance.

Next, TobyMac took the stage. I knew immediately that I was outside of my comfort zone. After awkwardly moving/dancing/clapping to the first song, I sat down. I reluctantly confess...my 40-year-old body didn't know how to respond to the hip-hop/rock/funk/soul! Unfortunately, however, the boys took my lead and sat down too. I was a party pooper...who couldn't remember how to dance!

So, when the next song began I stood back up. (They stood up too.)

As TobyMac's performance continued I noticed that I loosened up and forgot to worry about my awkward moving/dancing/clapping (okay, nearly forgot). He was a great performer...passionate, energetic, and engaged. And I was reminded that worship can happen, regardless of whether the music happens to be familiar tunes or "Funky Jesus Music."

The finale was my favorite part of the evening, as Chris Tomlin joined TobyMac on stage for "City on our Knees," "God of this City," and the final song of the evening "Jesus Freak." It was incredible! And I found myself moving/dancing/clapping AND smiling along with the rest of the freaks (Jesus freaks, that is) in the crowd.

A Festive Fourth

2010-07-06T19:37:00.012-04:00

Our Fourth of July was a blast as we started what will hopefully become a new tradition: a camping trip with our friends, the Alves family. We spent three nights at the Elkmont campground in the Smoky Mountains. The first night got off to an exciting start, as coyotes skirmished near our tents. We were all jolted awake by their yelps and howls. (Thankfully the next two nights were free of any four-legged visitors.)

Here are some pictures from our holiday weekend:

A highlight of the Smokies is creek hopping, but this year it took on new meaning after a few days with no shower. Ahhh, that cold creek water felt refreshing. (If only I could have brought some shampoo with me...)

Reed and Maya had a great time playing together, whether riding their bicycles through the woods surrounding our campsite, exploring the creek, or playing WebKinz in their private tent.

Here the four friends take a break from exploring the creek: Maya, Reed, Seth, and Eric.

Jennifer and I watch the kiddos having fun in the creek. Within minutes, they were all soaking wet!

The kids found this rock, which made a great little water slide. That first slide into the creek was shockingly cold.

Sunday morning at our campsite, and only Reed seems to have energy left for our one remaining night at camp. The Alves had to leave on Sunday, so we toughed out one last day and night at camp without them. We enjoyed a quiet day with naps, ice cream, creek hopping, and Yahtzee.

Here are the guys with the kids on Sunday morning. Everyone is all smiles...I guess that means the first annual Tucker/Alves camping trip is a success! Looking forward to next year...minus the coyotes!

Into the Woods

2010-06-22T09:27:00.009-04:00

My friend Jinda can remember a conversation years ago when I declared I would never go camping. Well, I guess this post confirms the old adage, "Never say never."

Last summer we began our family's camping adventures (gently with a campout in the backyard and then weekends in Elkmont and Cosby). We continued the adventure this weekend with a Father's Day trip to Cades Cove.

The highlight of our weekend was riding the 11-mile loop of Cades Cove on our bicycles. We left our campsite at 7:30 on Saturday morning to begin the ride, and we finished around 10:30. Cars are not allowed onto the loop until 10 a.m., so we enjoyed the entire ride without seeing a single car.

We did see wild turkey and deer - plenty of them. At one point, we came upon a deer grazing on the side of the road. We stopped our bikes to watch, and she contentedly kept munching. It was a wonderful morning. The one-lane road was recently paved, so it was a smooth and scenic ride.

Another highlight of our camping trip was welcoming guests to our campsite on Saturday afternoon: my parents surprised us, and friends Joe and Amy Coker, with their sons Layton and Conner, paid us a visit. It was a pleasure to visit under the canopy of trees and along the creekbed.

Our next camping adventure in July will push me even further, as we extend it by one additional night - three nights in the woods...without a shower. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm looking forward to it.

Pseudonym

2010-06-09T13:59:00.010-04:00

This morning as I was helping out with a project for church I came to the moment that is always tricky for me: the moment when I am asked to declare my title (or occupation). Generally it happens at the doctor or school as I am filling out the patient/parent questionnaires. In my flurry of scribbling down the usual facts, I come to this one and pause.

I know many women who gussy up the term "homemaker," feeling it doesn't properly reflect all we stay-at-home moms do ("domestic engineer" being the most common that leaps to mind). My pause this morning, however, came not from a hesitation to label myself a homemaker. It came from a resistance to label myself something else entirely.

Writer.

My kind friend who was working with me on the project stated matter-of-factly that this is what it would say under my name. Instantly my stomach churned and I felt warm. I had to correct him. To admit that it felt untrue. To suggest that we stick to something that I know to be true: "Wife, mother, friend." Yes, yes, and yes. This is who I am. But writer?

Long after he was gone and the project was finished, I was left thinking about my hesitancy to label myself a writer. Why? Well, first of all a writer writes. And I have to confess I haven't been doing much of that lately - at least pen to paper (or more accurately fingers to keyboard). My head has been busy cataloging story ideas and blog entries, but that seems to be as far as I get these days.

What would give me the confidence to call myself a writer? If I were published? If I posted fresh material faithfully to my blog? If I had an audience of readers?

Truth be told, I've known I was a writer since my high school crush admitted my letter made him pull over his truck as he read it on the drive home. I've know since my essay was published in our senior yearbook. I can still remember the response of my classmates. I've known since my first college English class when the professor (notoriously tough to please) praised my first essay. I've known as I've worked with student writers, edited professional writers, and mentored (and been mentored by) aspiring writers.

To say that I am something doesn't mean it must be my occupation. Wife, mother, friend...not my occupations, but essential parts of who I am. In the end, I see that adding "writer" to this list isn't a deception but an admission - I am a writer. It is part of my gifting and part of my glory.

It takes courage to say it; it takes even more courage to believe it. But here it is (I'm not sure the fill-in-the-blank is long enough to hold it all): "Daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, seeker, student, believer, mentor, teacher, leader, listener, encourager, worshipper, ponderer, and writer." I'm sure that answer will merit a double-take at the doctor's office.

Advantage Susan

2010-06-07T15:54:00.002-04:00

What is the bravest things you've done lately? Well, for me, it is tennis.

Yes, you read that right. I began taking tennis lessons just over a month ago. I started partly so I could learn to volley the ball back and forth to the boys, who have been taking lessons for the past six months.

However, I admit that the larger reason I began taking tennis lessons is to face a deep fear of mine. It's not a fear of tennis exactly (now that would be silly, wouldn't it?) It's a more complex fear that looks something like this:

Neophobia (fear of anything new) + Scopophobia (fear of being looked at) + Ataxiophobia (fear of muscular incoordination) + Atychiphobia (fear of failure) + Enissophobia (fear of criticism) + Xanthophobia (fear of the color yellow - admit it, those small yellow balls whizzing toward your head are terrifying!)

When I parked at the courts for my first lesson I sat behind the steering wheel fighting back tears. One might think I was about to single-handedly face the Williams sisters. I told my coach to teach me just as he would Reed and admitted how terrified I was. He smiled, encouragingly, but I knew he really had no clue how much baggage I was bringing onto the court.

Then something amazing happened. My coach tossed me the first ball...and I returned it. He tossed me the second one...and I returned it too. Forehands and backhands, I hit more balls than I missed. And with each whack, I sent a painful memory, a physical agreement, or a low expectation back over the net.

Over the past few years, I've seen that sometimes I enter into situations just to prove that I am brave. Those moments usually leave me trembling and terrified. Other times I enter into situations to face a fear, and I find myself seeing more clearly, breathing deeper, and smiling wider as I pass through to the other side still standing. I don't know how to explain it, but there is a difference - perhaps it is simply in my motives.

I no longer want to be held captive by fear. And I've found that life offers surprising invitations to face our fears for the sake of healing. For me, this has meant speaking, leading, running, writing, and so much more. And now the path of healing happens to include a racquet and little yellow ball. (And maybe, someday, a cute little tennis skirt.)

Taylor's Tale

2010-05-30T22:12:00.009-04:00

I love books, and I love it when friends share great reads with me. In the past two years, my friend Ellen has passed along some challenging and compelling books. Her most recent loan is Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, written by Taylor's son. The book is comprised largely of Hudson Taylor's own letters and those of his wives and closest friends.

In case you're not familiar (I wasn't) with his story, Englishman Hudson Taylor lived from 1832-1905 and was one of the first Christians to take the Gospel to China. In fact, at age 21, he sailed to China to begin what would be his life's work and the foundation of China Inland Mission in 1856 (now Overseas Missionary Fellowship).

It's tempting to share glimpses of his life story here, but instead I want to focus on two things that struck me most significantly. First is Hudson Taylor's dependence on God for all provision. He doesn't raise funds or secure donors before he sets off on his journey. He never asks people for financial support. No, instead he learns to give more, live on less, and pray with expectation. And the stories of God's timely provision are incredible.

Second, a chapter entitled "The Exchanged Life" addresses the time Hudson Taylor's spiritual life changes profoundly and permanently. Taylor realizes that all of his striving and longing for personal holiness would lead only to failure and disappointment; instead, God reveals the truth of our oneness with Jesus and that faith can only be strengthened by resting in Jesus.

In a letter to his sister, Taylor wrote, "I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I'll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me - never to leave me, never to fail me?...The sweetest part...is the rest which full identification with Christ brings. I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this; for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient."

The book goes on to say that Hudson Taylor was never the same after this experience...that he had discovered "the secret of soul-rest."

I confess that this book was a timely read for me for many reason. His story is inspiring, his life's work amazing, and his faith is challenging. If I could pass books along to you via this blog, then this is one I would send your way. Thank you, Ellen, for sending it mine.

Field Day Fun

2010-05-14T10:53:00.001-04:00

On May 7 and May 14, the boys enjoyed an annual elementary tradition: Field Day. Thankfully both of my boys look forward to this celebration, and they both enjoyed beautiful days for their competitions.

Below are some pictures of Reed as part of Mrs. Lukens' Team Energy. He didn't know how to hula hoop but by the end was hooping with two hoops! Even his mom can't do that!

Check out Seth's field day fun as the Warren Warriors battle against the other fifth grade classes. In the end, they won the "Spirit Award."

Celebrating Seth

2010-05-12T22:25:00.003-04:00

Eleven years ago we included this picture on a birth announcement letting the world know that Timothy Seth Tucker had arrived. Now, he stands to his mom's shoulders and proclaims that he will stand 6' tall before long (watch out, Dad!). Seth is a rich blessing in our lives, and it is a delight to watch him grow in all ways. We couldn't be prouder. Happy birthday, Seth!

A Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T17:47:00.005-04:00

I look at my title and think, "Aren't they all?" I am so fortunate to be the mother of Seth and Reed. They bless each of my days with their sweet spirits, unique personalities, and radiant smiles. Thank you boys. My cup runneth over.

Titan

2010-05-02T15:34:00.013-04:00

Let me introduce you to our new family member...

When Seth turned 10 we promised that we would get him a dog. Now, only 12 days shy of his 11th birthday the time came for us to fulfill our promise. We set our yesterday to "look" for a dog. I can't believe I am surprised that we brought one home with us - this lovable German Shepherd-mix. Seth fell for this sweet 7-month-old pup, and we adopted him into our family.

Now this is the face of a happy boy who has found his first dog. We stressed to Seth and Reed before we began looking that they would fall in love with every dog that they saw. We prayed that we would all know when we found the right dog for our family. Well, Titan wasn't the first dog Seth saw (more like the third), but he was the one who caught Seth's eye and captured his heart. It didn't take long before we realized that this was the dog who would be joining our family.

On the car ride home Titan was a contented passenger, who even wanted to ride up front between Tim and myself. I never thought I'd be one to drive around town with my dog in the van, but I have a feeling it won't take long until Titan is riding shotgun.

The boys welcome Titan to his new home! His first day and night with us have been great, and he is adjusting quickly to life here. The biggest problem seems to be the stairs, which he doesn't like to go up or down. This is a bit tricky as the only way in/out of the house involves stairs. But he is getting braver with the front steps, so hopefully soon he will be taking them without fear.

Even Fred, our cat, has responded more with curiosity than any other feeling. He's only hissed once when Titan came too close. Fred has ruled this roost for a while, so it may take a little while for him to adapt to his new furry companion.

Now the fun begins of caring for a dog! First, with a bath on this beautiful Spring afternoon. A wonder how he (and Seth and Reed) are going to like this!

Bull's Eye B-day

2010-05-01T10:06:00.010-04:00

Reed's birthday celebration continued with his first-ever sleepover. He invited his two buddies Isaac and Harrison over for the night, and they had a great time having a Nerf war and an Xbox tournament - all supervised by Seth.

I proved there's nothing a mother won't do for her son when I sat through their movie pick: "Furry Vengence." One word: Torture. But they loved it - animal antics, frequent "skunk" attacks, and a man trapped in a port-a-potty - the perfect ingredients for an 8-year-old boy's movie.

On Saturday morning we gave Reed his final b-day present: a compound bow. Here are pictures from our first target practice. You'll see that even Dad had to get in on the action:

Birthday Boy

2010-04-26T10:30:00.012-04:00

Yesterday Reed turned 8 years old! Wow, I can't believe how quickly he is growing up. This year he changed in so many ways physically: taller, lankier, and toothier. And talk about personality!

He also grew in many other ways that surprise us, amuse us, and amaze us. He has been such a blessing this year as a son, a brother, and a student. His teacher shares how his frequent hugs brighten her days. He has always shone brightly as the sun in our life, and we see how he now casts that light in the lives of others.

Here are some more photos of our fun day celebrating his birthday in the Smoky Mountains. A five-mile bike ride (one of his new favorite hobbies) in Townsend, followed by ice cream and presents, and dinner and cake at the Olive Garden. Happy birthday, Reed!

Golden Weekend

2010-04-26T08:42:00.014-04:00

On April 14 my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad!!!

This past weekend our family gathered in Gatlinburg to celebrate both their Golden Anniversary and Reed's 8th birthday. Here are some pictures from our fun getaway.

First, Friday night dinner in our house at Kingwood Inn and some porch sittin' on Saturday morning with Barry, Beth, and Bella.

After Saturday breakfast at the Pancake Pantry, we went to Ripley's Aquarium of the Smokies. It was a great time, with no crowd at all. In fact, it felt like we had the whole place to ourselves.

On Saturday night Reed (and Seth, who has a May 12 b-day) opened a few birthday presents.

On Sunday morning Tim, the boys, and I took Bella to The Village for breakfast (ours, not hers). Yum! A birthday doughnut from The Donut Friar.

Parting shot: Beth, Dad, Reed, Barry, Seth, me and Mom (Tim taking photo).

Back to the 80s

2010-04-18T08:12:00.005-04:00

Each year our church honors ministry volunteers with a special "theme" banquet. This year's theme? The 1980s!!! Tim and I were especially excited about it, but pulling our costumes together proved to be just a bit daunting - so many fun styles to choose from! Here's our final look:

I am "Susan" from the movie "Desperately Seeking Susan" (appropriate, huh?); Tim is Lloyd Dobler from "Say Anything." (Now you may have to watch these 80s flicks to remember...)

The highlight of the evening is the entertainment, provided by our staff and elders. They do an amazing job, and this year was no exception. From the opening performance of "Thriller" to the Student Ministries spoof of "Let's Get Physical" (retitled "Let's Get Spiritual) to the elders' live finale of Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," it was a great night.

Did you notice Bon Jovi's bass player on the right? Yep. That's Tim rockin' the house.

If I've never said it on our blog, let me say it here: I love our church, and I am so thankful we have a church where we can worship together, study together, and have fun together. Now we are all left wondering how our staff will possibly top this night.

Spring Break in DC - Part 1

2010-04-05T22:03:00.012-04:00

For several years Tim and I have been anticipating the time when the boys would be old enough to enjoy a trip to Washington, DC. We finally decided the time was right, so last week we spent our spring break in our nation's capital.

We left on Friday afternoon with Tim's mom, Ann, to drive a few hours. Then, we stopped on Saturday by Monticello in Charlottesville, Virginia. It was a beautiful Spring day to enjoy Thomas Jefferson's home and its grounds (pictured below).

We all tried our hand at writing with a quill and ink. It was quite challenging, but we did our best. You can see Seth's good work in the following photo. The experience certainly made us appreciate the many handwritten historical documents we saw later in the week.

After managing the Metro for the first time on Sunday morning, we made our way to Union Station, where we departed to brave the wind and cold on an open-top bus tour.

When we were too frozen to bear it any longer, we hopped off the bus and jogged up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to thaw. I think we all expected to Lincoln to stand up and walk around after seeing the statue featured in the movie "Night at the Museum 2."

After our visit with President Lincoln, we walked past the Vietnam Memorial to the Museum of American History for an overpriced lunch and a glimpse of Thomas Edison's light bulb (several of them actually). Seth did his research project this semester on Edison, so it was neat for him to see pages from his notebooks, photographs of him at various stages in his life, and memorabilia from his work.

We tried to hop back on our open-top bus tour after the museum, only to have our driver sideswipe another bus. Detained until another bus came for us, we decided to walk back a block to the National Archives to see the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Below you see my amazing husband, who decided to forego watching the Vols play in the Elite 8 ballgame and sightsee with us, tracking the final disappointing seconds of the game on his cell phone.

The boys were extremely patient as we waited in lines throughout the week. Here Tim, Reed, and Ann sit waiting for our entrance to the National Archives.

Ahhh, our first day in DC is over and we're ready to head to our home on the Metro (pictured below). We thoroughly enjoyed the convenience of public transportation during the week. Our house was only five blocks from a Metro station, so it was very convenient. Once we parked upon arrival, we didn't get into the car until the day we left. The boys enjoyed the excitement of the station, the crowds, and the ride, and they got the hang of reading the Metro map very quickly!

Spring Break in DC - Part 2

2010-04-05T19:18:00.016-04:00

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday offered plenty of steps, stops, and sights. We started on Monday at the Museum of Natural History (also called the "IYEvolution" museum - pictured below), which the boys were extremely excited to visit. And the dinosaurs, ocean creatures, mammals were cool...so much to see everywhere you turned. To see a real Giant Squid was pretty amazing!

Later that day we quickly toured the West Building of the Museum of Art (quickly because, well, Seth and Reed were with us, and no matter how hard I tried, they didn't want to imagine the story behind the painting or study the technique of the sculpture.) Our visit was long enough to find their DaVinci and works by Winslow Homer, Andrew Wyeth, and John Singer Sergeant - three of my favorites. That evening we walked toward Chinatown and enjoyed an amazing dinner at Legal Seafood. Seth was adventurous and tried the blackened salmon, which he loved.

On Tuesday our party of five split up as Ann and Tim went to the Holocaust Museum and the boys and I headed to the Supreme Court and Library of Congress. We arrived at the Supreme Court around 9:30 a.m. and joined a line of people waiting to enter (pictured below). Turns out the court was in session and visitors could sit in the courtroom to witness a trial in action. What luck!

Visitors had to make the decision to watch the entire hour-long proceeding or enter the gallery for only five minutes of the trial. We opted for the second, which I completely regret. Five minutes wasn't long enough for the boys to process what was happening, and it was an amazing opportunity to watch the Supreme Court Justices hear a case. But still, being in the courtroom while a case was being argued was a very cool experience.

Next, the boys and I went next door to the Library of Congress (pictured below). Of course, all of the government buildings in DC are something to see, but the LOC tops them all. It is stunning everywhere you look - the mosaics, carvings, stained glass, and statuary. Just breathtakingly beautiful. The boys and I took the guided tour, and it was excellent. I was so impressed with the boys' attention to our docent and their interest in what he was saying.

After reconnecting with Tim and Ann and grabbing a late lunch in Union Station, we took the Metro over to the Holocaust Museum, where the boys went through Daniel's Story - an age-appropriate telling of the Holocaust experience from a child's point of view. While they went through this area, I spent about an hour and a half in the Holocaust Museum. There are no words. It is a must for everyone, and it would take three or more hours to truly see and read and listen and contemplate everything it holds.

Finally, we ended our day at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing (pictured below), or "The Money Factory" as they call it. We took a guided tour of the facility where our paper currency is made (the only other place is in Fort Worth, Texas).

The cold and windy weather broke on Wednesday to provide a lovely Spring day with blue skies. We started our day at the National Zoo (pictured below), which I have to say disappointed us. We are spoiled with a wonderful zoo right here in Knoxville! Afterward, we took the Metro into the city to visit the International Spy Museum. We easily spent three hours here, learning about the tricks of the spy trade and the history of espionage. If you have boys, then this stop in DC is a must!

We returned to our house around 10 p.m. each night after dark and fell into bed -- feet hurting, legs aching, and exhausted -- only to wake the next day re-energized and ready to do it all over again.

Spring Break in DC - Part 3

2010-04-05T17:04:00.014-04:00

Thursday began at the Air & Space Museum, with a simulator ride for Tim and Seth and a milder version for Reed and his motion sick-prone Mom. We spent the morning among the aircraft, including the Wright Brothers exhibit. Then, we made our way to the Rayburn Office Building and the office of our Congressman, Jimmy Duncan, for a Capitol tour led by his aides.

Seth and Reed sit in Congressman Duncan's chair, with a stunning view of the Capitol.

After our tour of the Capitol, we returned to the Air & Space Museum to check out the "space" part of their exhibits. To end our evening, we walked to the Tidal Basin, the World War II Memorial, and the White House.

In the above picture, we stand in front of the Tidal Basin, and you can see the Jefferson Memorial in the background.

We checked out of our DC home on Friday morning and drove to Arlington National Cemetery (pictured above), where we visited the Kennedy graves and eternal flame (shown below). We also visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers and saw the changing of the guard and the laying of a wreath.

After touring Arlington, we took the Metro back into DC, where we spent more time at the Museum of American History. We had missed the third floor on our first visit, and it proved to be our favorite area of this particular museum: the American Presidency and the history of the United States involvement in war. Very interesting, so much history, and such amazing memorabilia!

The following two photos show how you could often find us throughout the week: Seth resting by propping his arm on Reed's head (funny, but it didn't seem to bother Reed) or our family strolling hand-in-hand through the streets of the city. It was a precious time with the boys, as they were so engaged, observant, patient, and excited by each experience.

We returned home on Saturday evening and were happy to sleep in our own beds again. It was a memorable week, and it was such a joy to share the adventure of the week with Seth and Reed and to watch them enjoy the delights of traveling. We can't wait to share more adventures with them!

Super Scout

2010-03-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

Reed is enjoying his second year in Cub Scouts. February and March offered two of the prominent competitions for a scout: the father/son cake off and the pinewood derby.

This year Reed boasted a win in his category for the cake competition, which was a thrill (nevermind that there was only one other entry in his category). Here are father and son with their creation and a close-up of his winning entry in the zoo-themed competition:

Reed also worked hard on his entry for the pinewood derby. While his car lost both of his races, he was a good sport.

His troop also enjoyed some indoor rock climbing and bowling during these months, which our whole family joined in on. We're thankful for his great leader, the boys who make up this super troop, and the fun that Reed has with it.

Special Guests

2010-03-08T22:48:00.002-05:00

March started with a real treat - Dr. Francisco Noel and his wife, Cecile, visited Knoxville. Dr. Noel is the Haitian director of One Vision, and they provide the hands-on care for the orphans I visited twice in 2009. Dr. Noel's visit was a busy one, as he spoke to several groups, including the students at CAK (the boys' school).

This year the children have been supporting the orphanage with their chapel gifts, Christmas shoebox gifts, and the donation of medical supplies following the earthquake. It was wonderful for them to meet Dr. Noel in person and to hear him speak about the quake, the orphans, and their needs.

That same week One Vision held a dinner to honor Dr. Noel and to share an update of the work in Haiti. Dr. Noel spoke so movingly about experiencing the earthquake firsthand, its effect on the orphanage, and its impact on the expense to care for the orphans.

On Saturday several ladies hosted a baby shower for Cecile. She is pregnant with their first child, and, as you know, they lost everything - including their house - in the January quake. It was such fun to watch her open the gifts and smile with such delight.

(left to right: Lisa, Ellen, myself, Cecile, and Deena. The ladies are teammates from my November 2009 trip to Haiti.)

Finally, on Sunday evening our church hosted a benefit concert to raise awareness and funds to support One Vision's work in Haiti. Dr. Noel and Cecile attended this event as well and spoke again about the project, the children, and their great need. Each time he spoke, Dr. Noel stressed that the amount of money it takes to care for these children on a monthly basis has tripled since the earthquake.

While their visit was certainly not a restful one, I am certain that those who had the opportunity to meet Dr. Noel and Cecile were blessed and the orphanage in Haiti became even more real to those who have never traveled there. It was a great joy for me to introduce Tim, Seth, and Reed to them, and it made me look forward to the day when they can visit the orphanage themselves.

Bella Blast

2010-02-20T21:39:00.001-05:00

This Saturday we enjoyed a day in LaFollette with MiMi, BaBa, Aunt Beth, and Bella. Here are some pictures of our favorite pooch (and one of my favorite tree climbers):

Haiti Update

2010-02-16T20:13:00.008-05:00

Pictured above, the children in One Vision's care now situated in their new temporary shelter.

It's incredible that it was just over a month ago that a devastating earthquake struck Haiti. John Miller, with One Vision, has traveled to the country several times since the quake, and below is his most recent update on the children. Thank you for your continued prayers for the Haitian people and specifically for this group of orphans. To follow One Vision's work in Haiti more closely, visit their Web site at www.onevisionintl.org. Here is John's latest report:

I have decided to split the group of orphans up into two groups. I will be moving the older children to a place that is more suitable for their needs. It will still need a bit of light construction work, but we are well on our way. The 77 younger children, ages 13 and under, have been moved to a different location where we have purchased brand new mattresses, a freezer, a refrigerator, and an oven. We’ve built bathrooms, showers, installed electricity, and even put in a television. The kids are all doing incredibly well!

We have also been working on every child’s official papers, and we are up to 29 birth certificates!

Since I arrived in Haiti 3 days ago, I can’t tell you how many people are stopping us on the road to say how much they appreciate our work (and even ask for jobs). It seems that proper humanitarian aid still has not reached this area. People are still in desperate need of medical attention, as well as food and clean water.

Unfortunately, prices have gone up drastically and our monthly budget, along with our work, has more than tripled. I would like to ask that everyone pray for God’s provision in these times of need. He truly has His hand on us right now and has given us the responsibility of making His name known here. Together, I know we can reshape the future of Haiti.

Learning About Lent

2010-02-16T08:29:00.012-05:00

I have to confess...somewhere along the way, I never learned about Lent. It wasn't part of my church life growing up, and it never became part of my spiritual life as a grown up. When Tim and I moved to Birmingham, I heard friends discuss what they were "giving up" for Lent. They'd bemoan the absence of coffee or TV for a few weeks; then it was over. I never understood what it was all about, and honestly, I never explored it.

The past few years I've heard more friends talk about giving something up for Lent with motives that run deeper than denial or deprivation. So, it causes me to wonder what this Lenten season is all about. Frederick Buechner wrote:

After being baptized by John in the River Jordan, Jesus went off alone into the wilderness where he spent forty days asking himself the question of what it meant to be Jesus. During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask one way or another what it means to be themselves...to answer questions like this is to begin to hear something not only of who you are but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become.

This past year I've been reading through many of Henri Nouwen's works. The liturgical year provides the framework for much of his writing. As a Catholic priest, Nouwen's calendar was organized by these remembrances and celebrations rather than months and seasons. What a new thought to me: that our daily lives be so mindful of Christ that even our calendar is shaped by His life!

With this thought, Advent took on new meaning this past year for our family. And now, I begin to consider Lent and why and how a believer observes it. When we practice Lent, we "fast." We give something up from Ash Wednesday until Easter. However, we don't merely give up something - we replace it with something else. What? One definition explains that "the purpose of fasting is to take our eyes off the things of this world and instead focus on God."

If we are merely denying ourselves a daily chocolate fix to fulfill the Lenten requirement of giving something up, then we are missing the heart of Lent. We are failing to shift our gaze from the world to the Father, asking Him to meet us and fill us and satisfy us. Trusting that He is enough.

During these forty days, we have the opportunity to invite Him to come, to create the space for Him in our lives, and to dedicate that space to Him. I believe that when the forty days transpire, we will find ourselves practicing a new spiritual discipline and walking in a deeper intimacy with Christ. And whether we pick back up that cup of coffee or bar of chocolate, we will not lose the lessons we learned during Lent.

I am praying about how I will honor Lent this year. My reading of late has focused on the spiritual discipline of solitude, so this will be a part of my Lenten observance along with a fast (from what, I don't know yet...). Most importantly, I will consider that Jesus himself looked to God for His true identity; I will ask the questions, ""What does it mean to be me? Who am I becoming, and who am I failing to become?"; and I will listen for His reply.

Sweet Valentines

2010-02-14T21:28:00.002-05:00

My Wolf Cub, who is hard at work earning his badge, cooked up some fun and pretty tasty treats in the kitchen over Valentine's weekend. On the menu were Porcupine Balls and Rice Krispy Hearts. The entree was interesting; however, I'd recommend the dessert:

You Know My Name

2010-02-02T09:28:00.014-05:00

Help me remember the reason I’m alive
And that I was on your mind the day you died

Help me imagine, this is not my home
And some day I’ll be resting by your side

Help me remember the day you won my heart
And you paid my way to freedom with your love

Help me imagine the beauty of this gift
A grace that I am so unworthy of
But you’ll never let me fall away from you

You know my name
You know my story
Still you’ve taken on the world
Just for me

I am amazed that you hear me speaking
You listen close to every word I say
Who am I to be loved this way?
You know my name

If I rise, if I fall
My only hope is this
That you’d be with me everyday
Who am I to be loved this way?

(Above painting "Psalm 139" by Sarah Rowan Dahl.)

Quake Update

2010-02-01T08:26:00.003-05:00

Only twenty days ago a massive earthquake struck Haiti, but the story is already dropping off the news. John Miller, of One Vision International, just returned from his first trip the country since the devastating quake, and posted his first-hand account at www.onevisionintl.org. It's a brutal reminder that the suffering is ongoing for the Haitian people and the affects of the earthquake still very, very present. Please take a moment to visit the One Vision Web site to read this account. Below is his update specifically concerning the orphans in One Vision's care:

Many of you have anxiously been waiting word on the One Vision kids. To be honest, when we first arrived at the orphanage, I was floored at the sight in front of me. The temporary location where the 124 children used to live, eat, and go to church was basically flat on the ground. Total destruction. Nearby, you see our precious children waiting patiently for us on the salvaged benches under blue and white tarps. As I was led through the destruction, Dr. Noel showed me where one of our girls was trapped as the blocks fell in and around her. One of the men from the house next door, came over and risked his life as he crawled under the broken blocks to save Katlyn.

After learning this, I couldn’t help but remember that this is the second time in two years these particular orphans have almost lost their lives to a devastating disaster. First, in September of 2008, when their home was flooded and they had to flee to the mountains to escape drowning. Now, January 2010, to a 7.0 earthquake.

On the second day of our trip, we went directly to the orphanage first thing in the morning. All of the kids had prepared a very special ceremony for One Vision for in their words, “saving our lives.” Even though we had many patients waiting on us in the next town, we were stayed for three hours of the children thanking us through prayers, songs, food and even dancing. It was very humbling.

We were able to get about 15-20 Coleman tents for the children to live in for the time being. Right now they are all safe and as healthy as can be expected under the conditions and circumstances. Food and shelter are the main concerns at this moment. This Tuesday afternoon, they will be moved to a much better location about 45 mins away. It was not damaged by the earthquake, and the children will thrive there.

We are working on food now. Because food is more scarce, it is also more expensive. We are praying that the proper help comes soon. In addition, while the doctors were checking out the kids, they found one boy with malaria, and another girl who has malaria and typhoid. Please pray for these two as we are in the process of treating them both right now.

As we are working on moving the kids to another temporary place, we really need get to work on building the final orphanage. We will be re-examining the building plans we have now and make a decision very soon. I hope to be able to break ground late in February because the need is ever more urgent. We are going to be posting updates online. Right now, financial help is the biggest need.

We plan on totally changing the lives of these children, and continue to take medical teams to the area. I know many of you have personally given generously, and I pray that you continue to do so.

–John Miller

B-day Road Trip

2010-01-24T17:30:00.002-05:00

My 40th birthday celebration continued with a wonderful beach trip with my sister Beth and friends Jinda and Jennifer this weekend. We traveled on Thursday to Santa Rosa, Florida, and arrived to a foggy sight. Luckily on Friday morning the mist had cleared to reveal a beautiful day and a lovely ocean view. It was a pleasure to spend four days with these amazing girlfriends, and such fun to watch them get acquainted with each other. We've decided it should become an annual tradition - now, we just have to convince our husbands. ; )

A cloudless, but chilly, day at the beach:

Our fun Friday night: visiting the Zoo Gallery and dining at The Red Bar:

My sweet friends treated me to a morning at a spa, while they explored the nearby town of Seaside. What a blessing to laugh throughout the weekend and share this special birthday with them:

From Dr. Noel

2010-01-15T18:01:00.007-05:00

I've written in previous posts about Dr. Francisco Noel, One Vision's hands and feet in Haiti. Below is a letter written by him to provide an update on the status of the orphanage and children. His native languages are Creole and French, so his English is a bit rough, but I am sure you can understand what he's trying to communicate. Also, when he writes about "our kids," he is referring to the orphans:

"A disastrous earthquake has left many dead, or injured and homeless, including us and our kids (became homeless again, one of the kids was injured). For now all our family and the kids are safe, however the damages are important for a poor country like Haiti. The reconstruction will be problematic and will of course require a lot of technical human resources in all aspects.

The school and the church has been damaged specifically for the school which has been flattened. The specialist said there's another possibilities to receive another shock like this which will complicate the situation finally. The location where they are now is no more safe.

For now brother it will take us some money to relocate the kids and rebuild some infrastructures, and we think it would be the right time to start our building project. In the same brother we would like to thank all the US families from Tennessee who supported the One Vision International Project in Haiti, which help feeding the kids and prepare the base for the long term part of the Program. We would like for them to continue pray for us because God hear them and actually we're safe because of their Prayers.

Dear brother, tell to everyone who help us and the other that God calls to join us that the kids and other families in the community where the property is need them now more than ever. The first needs are for the moment food, water, and medical care to improve and also relocate the kids. Actually every kids sleep outside on a tarp. Please brother try to help us. We are in serious need.

We will keep you informed about the situation as it develops. This morning we will close and leave our house because it no safer. In the meantime we will stay with Mr. Isi and the kids as agreed as soon as we progress. God bless you brother and it is a blessing to have you in our life."

- Cecile & Francisco Noel

Worth a Thousand Words

2010-01-15T17:34:00.014-05:00

The following are pictures that Dr. Noel, One Vision's director in Haiti, snapped with his camera. Below you can see the children and caregivers on Wednesday, the day following the earthquake. They are gathered under one tarp on the property of the orphanage. All of the buildings were structurally damaged by the quake, leaving no building safe for their shelter.

Dr. Noel stands surveying the damage to the orphanage. Here, he looks upon the former kitchen, which has completely collapsed.

This structure shown in the next photo holds the former school rooms, where the children both studied and ate their meals during the day. If the earthquake had struck any earlier, I would be writing a very different story. Praise God the children were not inside these rooms at the time of the quake.

As these children and caregivers know, better than any of us, life goes on. Here, the caregivers prepare a meal for the 120+ children.

Two days after the storm, you can see that the shelter is improved somewhat. It's amazing how the caregivers can manage such a large group of children with so few resources. In the following photo, you can see the children sitting neatly and enjoying one of their daily meals, provided by One Vision and the generosity of their sponsors.

It is amazing to consider what these young children have endured in their short life: hurricane, homelessness, grief, hunger, disease, and now an earthquake. As I look at these pictures, I can see their sweet faces, as if they are standing in front of me eager for their turn with my camera. They have bright eyes and wide smiles, and they are full of life and hope and longing.

I pray that God will continue to protect them and that someday we can know the affect that each of their lives has on Haiti. I believe that they will grow to know God, love Him, and change their world with their story.

Earthquake in Haiti

2010-01-13T17:12:00.001-05:00

When I look back on 2009, two highlights of my year were my trips to Haiti with One Vision International. At the start of last year, I had no idea that I would travel there once, let alone twice. Both were amazing experiences, and I fell deeply in love with a group of boys and girls living with great loss, tremendous need, and little hope.

Most of these 120+ children lost their families and their homes as a result of the three hurricanes and one tropical storm that swept across Haiti in the Fall of 2008. Now, I sit and think of them in the aftermath of another destructive act. I can't imagine how their young hearts can take such events and how their young minds can process what they are experiencing.

As I watch the news and hear reports coming in about the earthquake, my heart isn't far from these boys and girls, and I anxiously await news of their safety. This afternoon I learned that orphanage was indeed impacted by the quake, with buildings collapsing, walls falling, and structural damage in what remains standing. Thank God none of the children were killed, and very few of them were injured.

The shelter that they've called home for only the past four months is now uninhabitable. They are once again homeless. They currently huddle under a tarp in the courtyard of the orphanage, well away from any buildings that might give way.

Dr. Francisco Noel, One Vision's hands and feet in Haiti, and his wife Cecile made their way to them today after a five hour drive (it usually only takes 1.5 hours). They brought food, water, and medicine to care for the children. Dr. Noel will now begin the difficult work of locating new shelter for them. (Dr. Noel and his wife, who live in Port au Prince, lost their home to the earthquake. They are now homeless too.)

One Vision owns 40 acres for the future orphanage and is in the process of raising funds to start its construction. Now, they desperately need financial resources for more immediate needs - medicine, food, water, and supplies for these 120+ children and their caregivers.

If you can help with a financial donation, please visit One Vision's Web site (http://www.onevisionintl.org/), where you can donate on-line, or mail a donation to One Vision International, P.O. Box 20608, Knoxville, TN 37940, marked "One Vision Haiti."

Thank you so much for your generosity, and most of all, thank you for remembering this special group of children in your prayers for the days, weeks, and months to come.

Celebrating 40

2010-01-12T17:21:00.002-05:00

A milestone has come, and I have to say it was celebrated with pleasure and not pouting. As Tim and I were discussing where to celebrate my big birthday, he suggested we dine at Regas. I was very touched by this idea, as I've celebrated many special, memorable moments at this restaurant with my family through the years. It had, however, been nearly 20 years since I'd been there. It did not disappoint. Our family dressed up (Reed was especially excited to have the occasion to wear a tie) and enjoyed a delicious meal - topped off with their amazing Strawberry Shortcake. Yum! Happy birthday to me!

First Snow of 2010

2010-01-08T17:13:00.000-05:00

The new year got off to an exciting start with a snowfall, which resulted in a bonus day off from school. There was little accumulation, but enough for the boys to coast down our street on my old sled. Here are some fun photos from our wintery day:

A Witness to Life

2009-12-31T20:21:00.005-05:00

Today Tim and I celebrate 16 years of marriage! In fact, at this very moment we were probably sharing our first kiss as husband-and-wife. Cue "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" and the recessional. I can picture us now, walking down the aisle hand-in-hand with huge grins on our faces.

We have shared wonderful years together, and I can still say enthusiastically "I love this man!" He truly is my truest friend, my heart's desire, and my greatest champion. I look at our two sons, both so utterly unique but also reflections of their dad and me, and marvel at this life we have crafted together.

We have been abundantly blessed for sure, but we can testify that marriage isn't easy. A shared life is difficult. To walk through this world as joint seekers is a journey that is opposed. But it is worth it and worth fighting for. We would both shout that from our rooftop.

I love that I am in love with my husband. I am humbled by the fact that he chose me then and he chooses me today. I rest in the assurance that he will be by my side tonight, tomorrow, and all of the days to come.

Happy anniversary, Tim.
I do.

A Canine Christmas

2009-12-25T19:44:00.000-05:00

First, let me introduce you to a new member of the family. Not our immediate family, unfortunately, but Aunt Beth and Uncle Barry's newest addition: Bella Athena. Beth rescued forlorn Bella in Centennial Park in November, and she has already become a beloved part of their family - even their three cats accept her.

So, we were all very happy to have her join us this year for Christmas in LaFollette (two little boys most of all!). Seth has been wishing for a dog all year, and Bella only fueled this desire. Sweet Bella also has prepared me to seriously consider adding a dog to our family early in the new year. Anyway, with proper introduction made, here are some favorite pictures from Christmas 2009:

On Christmas Eve, we said goodbye to Bella, who headed back to Nashville with Beth and Barry. We returned home, accompanied by MiMi and BaBa, for the 11 p.m. Christmas Eve service at our church (our first time to try the late service - Reed fell asleep) and to prepare for Santa's arrival. Of course, the boys were excited to open one gift on Christmas Eve (shown below).

After discovering what Santa brought and opening our stockings, Tim prepared his annual Christmas breakfast - Reed's self-declared favorite part of Christmas day.

The big surprise from Santa: an Xbox 360!

Family photo, Christmas 2009.

Jakob

2009-12-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

One story of God's particular favor toward me on my recent Haiti trip came in regard to a baby named Jakob.

I spent Friday and Saturday at the orphanage holding this seven-month-old, who was abandoned at their gate just two weeks prior to our arrival. He weighed little more than my sons weighed at birth.

On Saturday I spent the day trying desperately to get him to take a bottle of formula. He was lethargic and refused to eat. So, as I tried to interact with all of the other children starved for attention, I was working with this baby who was literally starving.

After seven hours at the orphanage, the bus came to take our team back to the hotel, and I had to leave Jakob behind. I was undone. As we drove away, up the muddy road, I was weeping. Suddenly, our bus became stuck in the mud. We had to get off and walk back to the orphanage, while our bus driver turned around.

As I plodded down the muddy road, I wondered, "How am I going to go in and see Jakob again and then have to leave him behind again?" When we arrived at the orphanage gate, the Haitian caregivers came out and took us by the hand. They led us inside to the courtyard where they had created a circle of chairs around a bucket filled with rainwater. They sat us down, propped our feet on cinderblocks, and washed our dirty feet.

It was a profound moment for each of us, for different reasons and used to minister to us in a unique way. For me, it was an act of tenderness, offering the comfort and consolation I needed for a broken heart.

That night I called Tim - my only call to him on the whole trip - and implored him to pray for my ability to leave Jakob the next day. We would be leaving the orphanage and driving to Port Au Prince, headed home. I had no idea how I was going to leave Jakob behind, with him still so sick and weak.

The next day, however, I found him alert, responsive, and eager to eat. I fed him a large bowl of porridge myself! And when time came to leave, I had a calm heart that was clearly God-given. I was able to spend some parting moments holding him before laying him in his bed and saying goodbye. Only God could have made our parting so peaceful on both of our ends.

Today another team is bound for Haiti, taking shoeboxes filled with goodies to each child at the orphanage and many in the community. This will be the first Christmas gift these children have probably ever received. And I am thrilled to imagine their faces as they receive their gifts. However, I know that what matters more to these children is the gift of time, touch, and tenderness they will receive from the members of the team.

I am so happy to know that little Jakob has some love coming his way. That someone will be holding him, feeding him, talking to him, and nurturing him. To know this is a precious gift for me today!

We Gather Together

2009-11-27T16:33:00.007-05:00

Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving with a family gathering at our house. In all we had seventeen family members for the day, though Tuck, Kristy, and Blake had to say their goodbyes before we served the feast. Here are some photos of our holiday:

Our celebration was two-fold: it was also Landon's 20th birthday. Notice how Reed dressed up for the holiday! Below, post-dessert bliss: homemade pies and whipped cream, courtesy of MiMi.

Keeping the post-turkey coma at bay: shooting some hoops.

Let the game play begin! We're a card-playin' family - 3:13 and Canasta two of our favorites. (Can you tell? Aunt Camie doesn't like having her picture taken.)

Reed and MiMi entertained us with some holiday duets on the piano. I think Seth finally heard enough.

We don't limit our games to cards, though. Here, MiMi teaches Reed how to play Mexican Train Dominoes.

Family pictures 2009: Pictured on top, the McCalmons, our family, and Grandmama. Pictured below, our family with MiMi and BaBa.

Reflections

2009-11-14T11:49:00.002-05:00

I’ve just returned from my second trip to Haiti, and to be honest, it already seems like a dream. Barely a week has passed since we left for our trip, but here I am, back at home, back in the routine, and trying to remember all that has transpired.

Many of my teammates, including myself, got this response when we told people we were going on this five-day trip: “Five days? That’s not very long…” I guess it’s not in actual time, but in Haiti time five days feels like much longer. When you’re with the orphans, a single day in their world stretches on and on.

Why does it seem this way? Well, there’s the heat, with no escape from it. There’s the absence of creature comforts, like a clean toilet. There’s the utter lack of any distraction from your present circumstances. There’s the urgent need each of the 120+ children have for a personal touch, a moment of tenderness, and a fraction of your time and attention.

It’s a completely sensory experience where your brain and body don’t get a moment’s rest from the sight of their poverty, the smell of the living conditions, the sound of voices trying desperately to communicate, the touch of their hot, sweaty bodies and small, grasping hands, and the taste of the hot, humid air where the convergence of dust, sweat, garbage, and excrement is palpable.

You hazard to ask, “What time is it?” counting down the hours until the bus will take you back to your hotel where you can take a cold shower and fall into bed. And when you finally make it there, you lay in the dark and think of the children still there … Still in the heat and stench. Still in the dirt and grime. Sleeping on concrete floors and thin mattresses.

And you can’t wait for morning to come, so you can go back to them.

The Heart of Haiti

2009-11-14T10:50:00.003-05:00

Journal Entry: Street Scenes

2009-11-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

We're on the way to our final day at the orphanage. It's a beautiful day - paradise. The ocean before me makes me think of the vast hearts, the capacity for love, and the depth of need in the lives of these children. Indeed, in this country.

Women crouch over large bowls scrubbing clothes. Young men amble down gravel lanes or lean against trees. The workday has begun, but for them there is only the long stretch of day until night comes and darkness closes in on them once again.

The riverbed is dry. Last night the island was washed in a downpour, but today it is parched.

What are you thinking as you stand there?

From time to time we pass women carrying large baskets of bread or fruit on their heads. How do you bear the weight and walk with such grace? We pass a yard filled with intricately carved furniture, and the artist is at work. He looks like all of the aimless others, yet he is not sitting idle. Who will buy your creations?

School children in their uniforms walk down the street - the girls' heads boasting ribbons and cheerful bows. So neat and pretty and proud. If we speak the words "God has a plan for you," do you believe us?

Barbed wire curls atop block walls where broken glass stands and glitters. The sight is surprisingly beautiful in this brown world of dirt and rock and grime, yet it reminds us that this is a place of desolation and desperation. They need more than help ... they need HOPE.

Journal Entry: Final Night

2009-11-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

The same stars that light the sky over our hotel light the sky over the orphanage. The same crickets chirp and dogs bark. Not five miles away a city sleeps in squalor. Families cram into rooms smaller than some of our closets.

Rain from today's downpour drips through the tin roofs of shanties piled beside the river, where thousands of people collapse in sleep before waking to another hopeless day. UN officials and businessmen chatter below at the pool and the bar. They talk and laugh as strains of music fill the air with romance, drowning out the sound of poverty and death.

Tomorrow the sun will rise, we will go home, and life will go on. The children will wake to the same sky we fly home through, huddle on their dirt floors, and live with the memory, maybe fleeting, of eight American women who came for a few days, held their hands, cradled their bodies, and told them about the love of a man named Jesus, who is everything they need.

May they remember. May they believe.

Haiti Trip - Days 1/2

2009-11-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

On Friday, November 6, our team of eight ladies and John Miller of One Vision International got a very early start on our journey. Setting out at 5:30 a.m., we flew from Knoxville to Charlotte to Miami to Port Au Prince, Haiti.

From there, we traveled by bus north to Caberet. We arrived too late to visit the children on Friday, so we went on to the hotel. The next morning we woke to see the beautiful countryside of Haiti that had escaped our notice in the darkness of the prior night.

Here's our lovely team: Deena, Lisa H., Mia, Susan S., Rachel, me, Lisa B., and Ellen. Oh, and don't forget our brave leader, John Miller.

Since it was a Saturday, all of the children were present - little ones and teenagers too. We were blessed to have translators David and Cecile. Cecile is married to Dr. Noel, who works closely with One Vision and John in the care of these children and on the plans for their future home. Deena and Rachel told the children Bible stories each day and led them in games and activities.

Lisa and I spent some time with the teenage girls. I had a short Bible study with them, and then Lisa spent some time talking with them about purity. Dr. Noel and Cecile had a desire that we begin abstinence education with the teenagers at the orphanage, and Lisa did a wonderful job. They listened intently and asked questions when Lisa gave them the opportunity.

The children were eager to be held, so I was perfectly content to oblige. It's not uncommon to have a tired little one fall asleep in your arms.

Since my prior trip last May, the children have been moved to this new location. If you remember, they were previously living in an abandoned nightclub. Most of them were sleeping on the former dance floor under a thatched roof and sharing two commodes. The new location is situated beside a river and offers much more space and protection from the elements. Enclosed within its walls is a small church, several structures, and eight commodes. The structures are used for school rooms, a kitchen, and housing. Below you can see the church (I'm perched in the doorway catching a breeze), the kitchen, and the river.

As you saw above, our team worked alongside the caregivers to prepare lunch for the children. They actually did all of the cooking (after all, how would we know how to cook rice for 120+ children in a pot over a fire?), while we helped with dishing out the food and serving the children.

The following picture of Mia expresses how we were all feeling by this point in the day ... and it was just our first day. It's impossible to paint an accurate picture with words or images of what it's truly like to be there: it's so hot, so humid, there are so many children, there is so much need, there is a language barrier, the bathrooms are indescribible, and yet you yearn to offer more, help more, hold more...

Here are the children devouring their midday meal. It's always a heaping plate of rice with some type of meat and gravy. Even though the plates are piled high, the children eat every single bite.

An afternoon shower brought this lovely gift to the skies:

After we left the children, we visited the property that One Vision has purchased for the future site of the orphanage. We walked through the neighboring community, where we were greeted by hundreds of people. The residents of this modest home invited us inside to pray for their family of seven, including a three-week-old newborn who was sleeping on the one bed.

One Vision has purchased 40 acres for the future home of the orphanage. The plans include a dormitory with an adequate kitchen and bathroom facilities; a school (which the community children can attend too); a church; and a farm. It will change the lives of not only the 120+ children currently in One Vision's care, but it will change the lives of this community as well.

They need to raise about $100,000 to build the orphanage and are hopeful to reach that goal very soon. If you would like to make a donation, please mail it to One Vision International, P.O. Box 20608, Knoxville, TN 37940. Mark your check's memo "One Vision Haiti." Thank you!

Haiti Trip - Day 3

2009-11-13T11:08:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning our team got an early start, but not as early as these fishermen already casting their nets. We attended church with the orphans, caregivers, and community members. Worship was like their own brand of jazz, with Madame Lucien moving from song to prayer while randomly accompanied by an eletronic keyboard, electric guitar, and drums. The children sang special music for us. After two hours we slipped out of the service to help prepare lunch for the children.

While the children ate their lunch, part of our team left with eleven of the caregivers to return to the hotel. One of our goals for this trip was to build relationships with these women, so we pampered them with a "spa" day - facials, manicures, and pedicures; lunch; and a Bible study. The rest of us stayed behind to help with the children. During lunchtime, we held the babies and visited with Dr. Noel. Pictured below, Lisa holds Jakob, a seven-month-old who was left on the orphanage's doorstep two weeks ago. He was very malnourished, so we worked all day trying to get him to drink a bottle of formula.

After lunch we shared Bible stories with the little ones and played. Here Deena goofs off with them, but most didn't know what to think of her red nose and false teeth. They'd obviously never seen a clown before.

Here's baby Jakob in the pack-n-play we brought with us holding onto a stuffed dolphin. He was a dedicated thumb sucker.

In the afternoon Lisa spent some more time with the teenage girls talking to them about abstinence. The girls were very engaged and asked thoughtful questions. David, to Lisa's left, was our wonderful interpreter. After this, Lisa braved a conversation with the teenage boys about abstinence. She did an amazing job, and the boys were equally respectful and thoughtful.

While Lisa spoke with the older girls, Mia spoke to each child, taking down their names, ages, and Christmas wish. The children were very patient, waiting for their turn to talk with her. Later that afternoon the teenage girls discovered that our team member Rachel spoke fluent French. They were extremely interested in her life and her family, and they were happy to be able to converse with her.

We borrowed this parachute from the boys' school, and it was a definite hit with the children. They squealed with delight and ran underneath as we flapped it up and down.

By midafternoon, we were happy to sit and rest with these babies. It had been a very long, very hot day, so we found the little breeze coming through a door to the church and enjoyed a moment of peace.

After leaving the orphanage on Sunday afternoon, our bus made it only about 1/4 mile on the road before it got stuck in the mud. Despite his best attempts, our driver had to turn it around. Because we didn't know how long this would take, we walked back to the orphanage to wait. Little did we know the huge blessing that was waiting for us down the muddy road...

Madame Lucien and the other caregivers led us by hand into the courtyard, where they had circled chairs around a tub of clean rainwater. They knelt before us and washed each of our feet while another women cleaned our muddy shoes. It was tender and beautiful, and we were humbled by their love and kindness toward us.

God saw our weariness and our sadness, and He used these Haitian women to minister to us in a beautiful way. We ended our evening at the hotel with a delicious meal, a celebration of Cecile's birthday, and a special time of devotion and prayer.

Haiti Trip - Days 4/5

2009-11-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

Monday was another beautiful day in Haiti - blue skies, white clouds, very hot. Because of our sticky situation with the mud on Sunday afternoon, we played it safe and rode in the back of Dr. Noel's truck to the orphanage.

We had prayed for Jakob on Sunday night, so why were we surprised to find him much improved on Monday morning? When we arrived, he was sleeping in the pack-n-play; then, he was alert and responsive all day. He even let me feed him a big bowl of porridge. What a blessing!

While six of our team were with the children and teenagers at the orphanage, the other two team members took nine caregivers back to our hotel for their "spa" day. Despite a flat-tire delay, they were able to enjoy ample time for their pampering and Bible study. None of these ladies owned a Bible either, so they were happy to receive one written in their native language.

Below you can see our team as we say goodbye to Madame Lucien, the children, and all of the others at the orphanage. John offered our thanks and prayed for them. Then, the children rushed onto our bus. They, along with the caregivers, prayed for us before we left.

After leaving the orphanage on Monday afternoon, we drove into Port Au Prince, where we spent our last night. Below is a typical street in this busy city. Sidewalks were packed along the way with vendors selling their wares, school children walking home, and men and women milling about. Traffic was crazy, with few traffic signals and many vehicles - cars, buses, motorcycles, bicycles, and even people riding on donkeys crowded the streets.

Here is the view of Port Au Prince from our hotel:

Here we are, enjoying our final breakfast together:

Our final team photo, taken in Miami. From here, Mia left us to fly back to Atlanta. The rest of us flew to Charlotte and on to Knoxville.

In the months preceding the trip, it was interesting to watch as our team evolved. Some who seriously considered going did not; and some who thought they couldn't go went. This group of ladies were each so unique, so gifted, and so lovely. It was beautiful to see them step into a difficult situation and offer themselves however they were required. I was blessed to watch them shine, and I'm thankful we shared this profound experience. I think if you asked each of them, they would say "yes," they'd do it again.

Field Trip Finery

2009-11-05T21:04:00.006-05:00

The Second Graders at CAK had their first field trip today to Ben Atchley Veteran's Home. They've been working hard since September to prepare a program of "old-time" songs that these men and women would remember and enjoy. This included a medley of the Armed Forces theme songs.

The children did a beautiful job performing today, and then walked around delivering hand-made cards and talking with the residents. It was a wonderful experience for them, and I was so proud of them all. Reed was certainly excited about it, and he's been working hard to memorize the lyrics to all of the songs. He was also thrilled to wear his very first tie to the performance. Here's a picture of my well-dressed man and his well-dressed class. Enjoy the cuteness!

Spook-tacular

2009-10-31T19:49:00.007-04:00

Halloween began a night early this year, with Seth and his friend, Eric, attending a Fall Festival at church on Friday night, and Reed and Maya trunk-or-treating with Tim and me.

Tonight's trick-or-treating was one of firsts - the first rainy one in my boys' lives and the first one in several years that we didn't have companions. It was also the first time Seth covered only one street before declaring he was ready to call it a night. (Reed pressed on.)

Despite our abbreviated trick-or-treating, the boys had enough candy to sort (the highlight of Halloween evening) and to share with MiMi, BaBa, Mom, and Dad. Enjoy these photos of our two Ninjas:

Our persistence in the dreary, drippy weather paid off with this stunning rainbow - a treat, indeed!

Gratitude

2009-10-31T16:47:00.004-04:00

When Tim and I were weighing my decision to return to Haiti, of course the cost was a matter of consideration. After all, the new school year had just begun with its monthly tuition always coming due. But Tim was steadfast in his urging that finances shouldn't factor into my decision. When time came for my commitment, I said yes ... eager to be a part of this women's team and to return to the orphanage.

So, we paid the trip deposit and readied ourselves to pay the remaining balance when the time came. Soon I received word that an anonymous gift had been given toward my trip -- a tremendous help toward the remaining balance. When this past week began, I owed $700 toward my trip. By Friday, with no soliciation on my part, my balance was zero ... donations had come in to cover the entire amount.

I am awed by the generosity of the givers and grateful for their financial support. I hope that they know the blessing their gift is to me and my family. When I hug and hold the children this coming week, I will have them on my mind and offer their love along with my own.